Flashback Friday: The fresher 'chomokad' with my heart

It’s the chomoka na fresher period of the year.

Second years are feeling too hot to cool their heels in their rooms. Instead, they (including chicks in second and third years) are wondering up and about hostel corridors and campus sidewalks like baboons on heat, whispering, winking and engaging in all manner of tomfoolery hoping to find new fire fighters in town to cool off the heat in their loins. I’ll lie.

Girls were not a big deal to me as a first year.

Girls with a hallelujah kind of butt were. And my friend, they were in droves! Sent from high-schools all over. Couldn’t seat still in class.

The beauty was too much for a former villager to endure. Coupled with the light skins, fake accents and smiles that made me wanna say, ‘ girl, look at me like that again and I’ll tell my pastor you are tempting me into sin.’ And to sin I slid.

I identified one, a BCOM lass with a booty large enough to send me to the bosom of Delilah in hell. Evenings after the first day our eyes rammed into each other at the school canteen, I set out to have her number.

And possibly, more than just her number. After lots of stammering, and sweating, I earned the details of her hostel address and a small date.

When I knocked on her door, a number of 'come in' replies made me shy. I twisted the handle and pushed the door inside. She was there. Lying on her tummy so her butt appeared like Mt Kilimanjaro covered by a fluffy cloud of cotton that was her duvet.

Then I saw him.

She sniffed my disappointment and quickly added, “Huyu ni Charles, Charles meet Collins.” He shook my hand. I managed a subdued, “Pleasure meeting you.” Collins ako first year. Journal,” Charles gave a mocking smile.

“Collins you’ll come later on, say 8pm? We can take a walk. Sahii naona movie na Charles,” she added.

The smartphone in her hands was not the one that my number was saved in.