If I were a girl, I would never give two hoots about these men!

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No girl studying a degree course, not even under the influence of witchcraft or ovulation should flirt with, kiss or hung around a male campus MC, DJ, dancer, musician/music producer, photographer or model for more than two minutes unless she wants to be eaten kimandazi, cheated on, have her heart broken or her womb filled with a baby whose daddy is sharp idiot only capable of reasoning through that thing in his loins.

These fellows appear chic and suave, even moneyed.

They stand at a higher rung on the campus life ladder, owning an amount of influence in university fairs, but they are a threat to a young girls’ tertiary education, happiness, emotional and physical health.

A model pal of mine, we’ll name him Mark, has since our days in first year broken the hearts of more than fifteen girls. I’ve witnessed as he snaked his cunning self into the pants of chicks — some so smart I’d like — smitten by his trendy (borrowed) suits and coastal charm only to be forgotten once he’d eaten their fruits.

And intriguing enough, chicks kept going back for a tasty test of his spear which in most times left them ‘bleeding’ and hurt. I wonder, a model?

A man who just catwalks? Come on girls!

As a flaw in character, I don’t take seriously any girl whose boyfriend is a dancer.

Because I know she’s being cheated on and she’s either drunk in love or too foolish to know that her bae isn’t just dancing in her hall but many halls. Can I be proved wrong? MCs, DJs and photographers are wannabe cool guys. The sort who sip Carlsberg or Heineken while dancers twanga one Guinness the whole night in a club.

They are corny fellows who ride on their hype to get laid, chicks as I’ve come to learn, love glamour, something flashy. And girls, the worst flashy men to bed are these, as a girl I once liked would say, are a joke of a man.

So girls, be women, sensible. If you must spread your legs for any of these fellows, compare his character and attributes to your dad, then go ahead and have fun. You’ve been warned!