Janet: My husband had sex with our maid one month after our wedding

Janet, not his real name, has hinted on how her one-month-old marriage nearly crumbled after her husband betrayed her in a very big way.

According to her, the husband managed to return home early after work because he was using a motorbike while she struggled to manoeuver through the jam using the family car. This always gave the husband ample time to engage with the house help almost four hours before Janet got home.

She further said that she caught them red handed after she returned home earlier than usual. This was she excused herself from duty due to a mild headache. Janet was shocked to find the husband having sex with the maid on their matrimonial bed. 

After the incident, the maid ran away never to be seen again while the husband remained tongue-tied. She cried all the night and harboured a lot of bitterness towards the husband.

In addition, she said that what really pained her was that the two love birds didn’t go too far, they just did that in her house, and, it happened just a few days after they had gotten married. Above all, she said that she also heard rumours that the husband had an affair with one of her bridesmaids.

When asked why she felt the need to stay in an unhappy marriage, she said that her mother and elder sister advised her not to walk away because it would be embarrassing to the family.

Now that such cases are rampant, this is what one needs to do to get over the situation. Seek counseling. Do not try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone! Do this without shouting from the highest mountain to all that your spouse is unfaithful. Always be careful in choosing whom you will share this information with.

Choose this as a time to do some reflection on your marriage to see what other issues other than this infidelity needs to be recognised and dealt with.You should not make a major decision like ending the marriage.

Accept that your feelings of rage, uncertainty, shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression and confusion about having an unfaithful spouse are normal. This will also help you to understand that your feelings are either wrong or right. 

Do your best to take care of yourself because it is very easy for you to harm yourself during this time.