Relationship between strikes and baby bumps

Ultimately, the strike will go down as the season of debauchery and fornication. The strike provided the perfect opportunity for campus marriages to flourish while procreation was embraced. With the absence of classes and parental scrutiny, days and nights were spent under covers, literally.

The strike is long over and the baby bump is here. With the semester activities on hold, the supply of condoms in the dispensers became irregular. As such, caution was disregarded; withdrawal and direct deposit employed.

Basic science dictates that when you have sex with disregard to condoms and safe days, fertilisation occurs and a foetus is created, thus explaining the gazillion baby bumps on our bumpy highways. Get used to the bump and the accompanying hormones.

The general air is a rancid smell of regret. It is not surprising to find sullen men on campus as they grovel and cater to their pregnant girlfriend’s mutura and smokie-pasua cravings.

Lines at the dispensaries have also become longer as the soon-to-be student-moms report for antenatal care.

These baby-bumps are a true and living reflection of what happens within and without campus.

Once students leave the sanctity of their homes, they are consumed by the world. Alcohol is easy as are flings, one-day stands and one-night stands.

The allure of the world beyond their home’s ‘gate kali’ is attractive enough to trap even the strongest of souls and the girls who vowed to save themselves for marriage.

With the rise of sponsors, flexible hours, sexual fluidity and endless flow of money from parents and the government, the campus scene is a modern Sodom and Gomorrah.

The baby bump is now a trend across all campuses. Any entrepreneurial mind with sufficient funds should take on this opportunity and set up daycare facilities and Lamaze classes on campuses.

Of course, the procuring of abortions has also increased and it is only a matter of time before we see a headline screaming, “Foetus found in hostel.’’ You can silently judge them and hope that condoms don’t break as you are busy doing adult things. Until then, Oh hail the bump!