Application letter to marry my son.

TO BE FILLED IN TRIPLICATE (My husband's, my son's and mine.)

PERSONAL DETAILS

 NAME ................................................

AGE .................................................

HEIGHT ...............................................

TRIBE ...............................................

EYE COLOUR .................................

OCCUPATION..........................................

EDUCATION LEVEL....... ……………………….

WEIGHT

 I) BEFORE MEETING MY SON.........

 ii) AFTER MEETING MY SON.......

If your answer for age is above 30 and you gained weight after meeting my son, please do not proceed. In case your education level is above my sons, back off

RELATIONSHIP DETAILS

I) How Many exes Do You have so far?

ii) Which one would you prefer?

a) An expensive church wedding

 B)A low profile civil wedding? (Tick one)

iii) Do you have a child or children? YES/NO.

iv) Are you a virgin? If no, briefly explain at what age you lost your virginity.

V) Can you cheat on my son? Yes/No. If your answer to number (iii)is yes and you lost your virginity at twenty do not proceed.

KITCHEN QUESTIONS

1. On a separate piece of paper write the recipe for preparing the following meals. Ugali and chicken (A Luhya mother in law.)
Mokimo and cabbage (A kikuyu mother in law.)
Fish, without the fish breaking (A Luo mother in law.)
How to properly peel bananas and cook them (A Kisii mother in law.)
Note that practicals for this and other meals of my choice will be conducted when you visit.

2. What’s the total number of your cutlery?.................

3. How many hand and dish towels do you have?

4. Can you cook meals for ten or more people? YES/NO.

5. Do you prepare soft circular chapatis or hard square, rectangular or oxagon shaped chapatis?

LIVING ROOM QUESTIONS

1. Did you have furniture and other electronics before meeting my son? If yes, please attach the receipts and state the source of income

2. By use of a well labelled diagram, explain how you will arrange your living room, mount pictures and place the television and wall unit appropriately

3. Will you sulk in case you want to catch the latest episode of "If loving you is wrong “and my son decides to watch EPL? Yes/No?

LAUNDRY QUESTIONS

 1. How many dirty laundry baskets should you have when my grandchildren came along?(Tick one.) 1/2/

2. How do you keep white garments white/whiter? Explain in 40 words

3. How many bedsheets should a married couple have and what colour should they be? (Tick one.) One pair/Two pairs/Many/None. White/Pink/Black/Yellow/Grey

LAST PART (RANDOM QUESTIONS)

 1. If my son buys me a Ferrari and buys you nothing or a fourth hand Vitz will you be angry or complain? YES/No
2.If in my sunset years I fall ill, will you nurse me at your place? YES/No
3.How many times should a married woman visit her parents?

Every day/once a week/Annually/Not at all.

4. What are your views on live in relatives?(Explain in 50 Words on a different sheet of paper.)
5. Are you on social media? If yes provide your username and passwords on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

6. How do you spend your Sundays?

I (Name in block letters) .......................................ID No.......swear like a sailor that the information I have given is true.

Sign............................

Note that only successful applicants for the post of my future daughter in law will be conducted. Any pestering me or my beloved son with calls or badmouthing the chosen wife are highly discouraged.
Also note that I reserve the right to admission into my royal like family. My decision is final with or without my sons consent.

Mother in law .....................…………Sign……………………………….