Time to openly talk to our daughters about sex

Like many mums of teen girls, Grace is struggling with whether or not to put her 15-year-old daughter on birth control pills. Not that she wants her daughter to be sexually active: "She is seeing a 17-year-old boy.... I don't want her to think I don't trust her to be careful with this boy, but I think contraception is a good idea...."

I receive many such concerns, especially during the long school holidays and festivities. One mother said we should face reality: "We can teach our daughters about STDs, pregnancy, sex, and love, but in the end, we know they are going to do exactly what they want."

Talking to our children about sex is not easy, but it can be the most important discussion you will ever have. Sex education is just another way we help our children become adults and teach them how to protect themselves. By providing them with accurate information, we're empowering them to make good and well-thought out choices in the future.

While most of us would love our daughters never to have sex, the reality is most girls in their early to mid-teens are doing it. Avoiding talking about sex won't stop your daughter from having it, it just puts her more at risk as she may not have accurate information. In fact, some research says that if parents have open and frank conversations with their children about sex, they are more likely to delay having intercourse and less likely to have an unwanted pregnancy.

If you find it difficult to talk to your daughter about sex, you can arrange for her to talk to another trusted adult or make an appointment with a doctor or family planning clinic. It can be really helpful for dad to be involved in any sex talks, as well as removing the secrecy and encouraging open and honest talk at home. This reinforces the fact that contraception is not just the duty of the woman.

When you talk about sex, be positive and tell her it is an important part of healthy relationships, but that she needs to be ready. Tell her it is fine to say no and not feel guilty.