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My landlord is accusing me of eating chicken before paying rent. That it is his
right to receive top priority in my budgets. Well, he may be true but where is
it written?
We all know that when there is a conflict
between what is moral and legal, the law usually wins. That is why I am not
going to pay rent until I enjoy these broilers somersaulting in the kitchens of
Nairobi hotels.
In the meantime, I am waiting for the low
interest capped loan from my bank. Once I get this the Uber Helicopters will
know they were right to start the airlifting business.
I have seen a lot. I am the same guy who in his
boyhood times used to have sleepless nights when mama had made chapatis.
Like, there was this day, 18 years ago; I tried
all my best to catch some sleep. I rolled and rolled in my bed covered by the
Robin blanket but it was all in vain. There was no way I was going to sleep and
the chapos to see the light of the next day.
I made up my mind to make a move and tip toed to
the sitting room where the celebrated goodies were kept. As soon as I landed
there I sensed danger like Chuck Norris. Dipping my right hand in the basin I
felt something heavier than the chapatis.
I retrieved the hand and made a step or two
backward. I gathered courage. Back to the basin my hand went and I was sure
that I had touched the hand of a human being.
So my brother was on the same like mine mission
too.
"Nani?", I asked.
"Ni mimi", he said.
"Ooh I thought you are deep sleeping?” I
asked as he sighed.
"I am looking for some drinking water, I
feel thirsty", he said in a low soprano tone. The tone had to be minimal
lest mama would have woken up and what would have followed is
a-come-and-see-war
That was not true because no water was stored in
the cypress cupboard that had been baptized: Wall unit.
When my younger brother asked me what I was
doing in the wee hours of the night, I had to act smart. The boy was always my
enemy when it came to favors from mama. He was sure to report me and mama would
have listened to him more than she did when we were making submissions in
the homemade courts.
"I am sleep", I told him.
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"But you are walking, I don't
understand", he enquired and I could see his pupils enlarging albeit the
dark darkness.
"Yes , there is something called sleep
walking, and that is what I am doing, in fact, I am dreaming, give me that rungu, I want to hit someone", I
told him and instead of doing what I told him, he had called mama.
Mama came so fast that I could not prepare my
defense submission in good time.
"What is going on?” she asked and I told
him that I had had a dream that someone was corrupting our chapos. I
had to try all means possible to stop my brother from talking because if he
talked before I did, he was to be considered the victim.
In this world, it is either you are a victim or
a perpetrator!
Anyway mama gave us a fair hearing although to
this date I believe that her judgment was far from just.
On that night she left us drinking the water and
left with the chapos to her bedroom. And from that night, any sweet
meal was kept in the bedroom.
What was more painful is that a few days to that
night, my brother had pretended to be sick. After learning on parts of the
tooth in school, he came home saying that his enamel was in pain. Mama had
forced me to give my little brother all pieces of potatoes in my kitoweo
leaving me with the maize grains only. My brother had jovially taken them. Like
he said, enamel in pain needs soft things.
And a week after that mzee banned sugar in our
tea. When he sent me to the shop to buy sugar for the “big people”, I did what
had to be done. I licked more than half and added maize floor. Okay, I won’t
say how I survived the beating with all my teeth and ribs intact but was sadder
than the Vietnam War.
And now, so many years after my liberation, my
landlord in Kinoo-Regen wants to bring back the torture. This won't happen
under my watch.
Memories keep running in my mind. As I thought
on how to treat Susan I recalled what happened on the first days.
So Eve comes to Adam with a proposal that they
eat the fruit of knowledge. And Adam does not sense danger but rather smiles
sheepishly. In fact, he stretches his hands and wonders how lazy he had been to
notice the tree, leave alone the fruit. He gives his wife a high five hot
salaams when she says that the fruit is good for food and a delight to the
eyes.
In this light, no one has a right to condemn me
that Susan is finishing me economically by the numerous pizzas we enjoy. Am I
not the son of my great grandfather-Adam?
With this knowledge, I feel so much at peace, so
calm, so confident and in a jovial soft heart. My heart is filled with so much
oxygenated blood and no wonder I am in a tranquil mood. As a fact, I have just
texted my Suzie, requesting her that we meet at 6.30 pm, at our usual joint
along Moi Avenue for our monthly get together building activity for two at the
expense of one.
Well, this depends if my mzee will Mpesa the
cash after selling my sheep. He is very reluctant. He says that there is a
delay although the buyer of my sheep has paid him through Mpesa. I may have to
call Safaricom and ask why it is very hard to receive pesa from upcountry….
©Mteule