sponsees have been murdered. They also speak ill of their sponsors. Without much ado let me unleash the commandments. It’s my sincere hope that staunch Christians (whoever they are) will enjoy the read and not give a sermon after reading.
1. I am your sponsor, who brought you out of the land of abject poverty, out of a poorly furnished house. You shall have no other sponsor before me.
2. You shall not make for yourself a mental image-any likeness of your ex, or that of your future husband, or your ideal bae; you shall not miss them or be with them. For I, your sponsor, is a jealous sponsor. I visit the iniquity of the sponses's upon the children I have with them to the third and fourth generations of those who are unfaithful, but showing mercy to thousands(of my other sponsees) who love me and are faithful.
3. You shall not take the name of your sponsor in vain. You shall not say that ooh! He is fat and weary, ooh! He suffers from high blood pressure and diabetes. Or hoo! He is poor in bed. For the sponsor will not hold her guiltless who takes his name in vain.
4. Remember the sponsititution day and keep it holy. All days you shall take selfies and post on social media. But on sponsititution day, you shall take no selfies. You shall not go clubbing, you shall not refuse to answer my calls and talk to other men on phone. The sponsor has blessed the sponsititution day. He has given you handouts to celebrate it.
5. Honor your sponsor and his wife so that your days may be long upon the land of sponsititution which your sponsor has given you.
6. You shall not murder your sponsor or his wife. You shall not murder him for his wealth and his wife to have the aged sponsor to yourself.
7. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not have a romantic affair with any Ben 10, your ex or bae.
8. You shall not steal. You are forbidden from stealing your sponsor from his wife and children. You shall also not steal a new crisp one thousand note(s) from his pocket at night.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbors. You shall not say that they gossiped about your sponsor. Say that they stole your designer clothes, shoes or Brazilian weave that your sponsor bought.
10. You shall not covet your sponsor’s wife. You shall not desire her beautiful mansion (compared to your bedsitter), her land, her shamba boy, her maid, her dairy cows, her children, her hairclip, her weave, or anything that is your sponsor's wife.
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