Are a you a real man?

 "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just" (Proverbs 13:22).

"Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children" (II Corinthians 12:14).

Last month on a Sunday I attended one on one session with our Young Couple from our Church. This drew my attention to the issue to do with becoming a role model in our families. It was a very valuable session by the young couples. On Sunday 19th June, the world celebrated Father’s Day. In other words we celebrated the gift of men in the world.  On 8th May we were celebrating Mother’s Day, yes, and the gift of ladies to the society.   In our two-series sermon on the topic of “Be a Good Man”, I want us to briefly challenge our men to be “MEN”.

When we were boys, my brother Ken would say this to me after he slugged me and made me cry. “BE A MAN". Brothers can be the best of friends and they can also be very cruel to one another. Ken was 6 years older than I was and without a father in our home at the time, he was at one point the only man in our home after my eldest brother having left the home and at times Ken would be quite bully.

Be a man! Wow! What volumes of pain and suffering in this world would be avoided if the husbands, fathers and leaders of our world would truly be men! To be a man, has been my personal quest since I was very young. I wasn't quite sure as a boy, what a man was, but something in my heart and mind told me that to be a man was something honorable and good. Coming from a dysfunctional family, my understanding of the role of a man has been blurred to say the least. Looking back at my childhood, I realize that the example of a good man was never shown to me. In my early years of being a father, I realized this when I began feeling and expressing a father's love to my children. It was then that I realized that I had never truly been the benefactor of such caring, protective love. This is because I love my children and whenever anyone of them is sick, I don’t have appetite to eat and I always have sleepless night feeling their pain.

Painful memories flood my mind often as I would compare the careful love my children receive from my wife and I, with the careless and even abusive treatment my brothers, sisters and I received at the hands of our relatives. It is at this point in my life, that I realized I was more a true man than anyone in my family had ever modeled before me. No parent, grandparent or uncle had shown me what it was to be a man. Their own dysfunctional upbringings had so marred their lives that they were incapable of it. I also realized that I had a Heavenly Father who had been and was my example.

We hear a lot about mentors these days. I myself have few men who are my mentors. I'm not sure they all know it. But, I have patterned my life and ministry after the example they have led in my life. As well, I also mentor more than three young ministers. My Heavenly Father is my dearest mentor. As a young father, I would often ask myself, "How would my Heavenly Father react to this situation?" If I asked myself how my earthly father would react or respond to a given situation, I would get a host of harmful or dangerous answers. Yet, when I would ask myself how my Heavenly father would respond, I would get an answer that was helpful and healthy to my children.