Parents are definitely the safety net for their children

Some weeks back, I went home tired, stressed out and grumpy. I was too exhausted to cook, and decided to buy French fries and chicken for dinner. I knew my son would be delighted – which child would not be?

We ate in silence, and once done, I got up, went to the bedroom and shut the door behind me.

He was watching television at the time. After a while, I got out of the bedroom ready to do the dishes and prepare for the following day.

I found him halfway through with them. When he saw me, he asked, “Mum you are so quiet. Are you fine?”

I do not remember if I responded or not. But since he was already doing the dishes, I decided to have a shower before preparing the following day’s meal plan. I came back feeling fresh, switched on the radio, and started singing while wiping the dishes he had washed.

He stood aside looking at me as I did a jig or two and said, “Now you are mum.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“Well, you are always jovial, singing and dancing while you do stuff. Today you were so quiet, I was so worried,” he said.

Worried? Why would he be worried?

We pursued this conversation and it turns out that when I am moody, he gets scared that whatever is wrong threatens his sense of security and I happen to be at the centre of him feeling safe.

I did not know how deeply ingrained this feeling was, until that evening.

He shared how he feels that I am the only one who truly supports him, encourages him to pursue his interests even if they would lead to a dead end.

I was deeply moved by this realisation. I mean, I know that as a parent, it is my obligation to be there for my child, but to know in specific terms what my son needs from me at this very moment in time is like finally having a manual and knowing that you are doing the right thing.

Not just right in the sense of the word but doing what actually makes a difference to him.

I also realised that my stability affects him, and even then, having gotten this far, we have become one tight unit.

That night, instead of my usual prayer of “God, give me the strength and wisdom to know what to do and how to do it,” I prayed thus: “God, thank you for giving me the wisdom to recognise that I am actually making a very valuable contribution in my son’s life.”