Stop existing and start living

Susan, 41, has been teaching for the last 16 years. But as much as she loves her work and her students, she is finding it harder each day to drum up the enthusiasm to go to work.

Where before work was exciting and each set of students a new challenge, now it is a never-changing routine that is threatening to stifle her.

This restlessness when you hit your 40s is referred to as midlife crisis in men and is erroneously attributed to menopause in women.

Okay, so your life is boring, nothing has changed for what seems like forever.

Starting over is not the same thing as recovering from a failure.

It is a new beginning and you have now gained experience and knowledge to help you reach new goals.

Reignite your passion by imagining what it will feel like when you achieve your dreams.

Restarting life is not only for those who have hit rock bottom, it also works for those who have leveled off.

1. You can create a whole new life if you want it. You just have to approach it in the right way. Sometimes your little ideas can turn into big things. Visualise an outstanding outcome for your idea.

2. Endings are not necessarily bad things. Even if you lost your home, savings or a job, what comes to you in the future may be better than anything you ever had. A seed has to die before springing back to new life.

3. Starting over may feel forbidding, but it can be a cause for celebration.

Think of it as an exciting new journey into the unknown, and many of your apprehensive feelings will begin to fade.

The truth is that excitement and anxiety feel exactly the same to the body. It is our minds that make it frightening or exhilarating.

4. Remember that your future is not governed by your past. No matter what has happened in your life, you can find a way to make things a little better for yourself, and hopefully for those around you as well.

5. Having to start over is different from choosing to start over.

For many whose lives are in chaos because of the trying times we are in, starting over is not a choice.

6. Starting over is about creating and reaching new goals.

We are happiest when we are moving towards a goal.

It is not all about the end result, in fact when you achieve a dream you must find a new one as soon as possible in order to stay emotionally fit.

7. Starting over is about allowing yourself a chance at real happiness. You will have to be bold and get good at learning new things, but how bad can that be?

At the very worst, you will acquire the skills you need to start on the next project.

8. Live a little bit on the edge. The key to getting the life you want is to make changes to the routine and swim upstream (taking risks).

Doing this will mean your days are not spent experiencing the same thing over and over again, day after excruciating day. You can live an improved life that looks much brighter, no matter what challenges you might be facing.

9. Erase negativity. First of all, it is finally time for that voice in your head to shut up.

Sure, it has been through a lot of stuff. It remembers every single disappointment and failure. But it cannot see the future, so you cannot let it play a part in how you perceive what is to come.

When the voice says “it is not possible,” unleash your inner actor and tell that voice that “it can be done.” After all those years of thinking you are not good enough, it is time to stop.

Set small goals and take on small challenges that allow you to build the confidence it takes to tackle the monster ones.

Negativity harms you and keeps you from really living life.

It does not matter whether life has dealt with you unfairly or not.

It is best to identify the problem at the root of your negativity and then take action to remedy it.

Whatever you do, do not remain in a negative or gloomy funk for long. Just start living.

 The author is a life coach and founder of Peak Performance International, a human potential development firm.