Brace yourself for the suspenders

A young man wearing suspenders during the Chaguo la Teeniz awards at the Carnivore Nairobi. PHOTO BY PIUS CHERUIYOT

Beware of a man who wears suspenders and a belt.

Such is a pessimist who will carry an umbrella even in fair weather. You cannot help but wonder if he does not trust his pants, as if they are subject to exceptional gravitational pull!

I may not be the expert to tell you when to zig or zag your wardrobe, but I know that the golden rule number one of wearing suspenders is that you do not need to cinch your waist with a belt.

That rule has not been repealed or subjected to a bare-knuckle amendment bedlam. True, there might be scores of men out there who may look respectably jaunty in the Unholy Alliance of suspenders and belts.

But then again, there are men out there too with stalled Range Rovers dashing across roads with cans for Sh500 petrol — as there are tall men despoiling dance floors by trying their feet at dancing!

Lupita’s star-struck young brother Peter Nyong’o, photobombed the $1billion Ellen DeGeneres Samsung Note 3 selfie after the Oscars, then crashed in an inapt shirt, bowtie, belt and suspenders during a lunch date with Oprah Winfrey.

I could almost hear the crunching, silent ruckus in the minds of Hollywood’s entertainment elite after Oprah posted the picture of herself, the overawed boy and his mother Dorothy at her home.

 

Late to change sheets

But Peter’s boo-boo is not unique.

Kanjii Mbugua’s latest Mfalme Mkuu video featuring Enid Moraa is a disconcerting hair in the soup that should have been cleared up.

Enid may not be sensational in the video, but her wardrobe and that of the backup singers-cum-dancers is a spectacular trip-up.

They crapped the bed with this one and it is too late to change the sheets for the six-minute blooper reel of very tight pants, firmly secured in place with belts and then held with suspenders!

I have to give it to whoever was in charge of Pitson’s Lingala Ya Yesu costume. Now that is how you sport suspenders.

And if you have to have a belt, then go the way of Pitson’s dancers and let them just prop your look and hang loose at the sides.

This can be quite macho, not unlike a strapping lumberjack with sweaty brows.

For a piece of clothing that once-upon-a-time was considered underwear, suspenders (or braces as the Brits call them) have become very conspicuous fashion accessories.

Larry King turned them into a statement piece and the late Robin Williams made rainbow suspenders a fashion trend when he wore them on Mork and Mindy in the 1970s.

And they are not just for the bean-counting accountants and bankers whose back-office sense of fashion is as painful as the number-crunching decisions they make.

They no longer conjure the milk-soppy image of a nerdy Steve Urkel in Family Matters.

Instead, think of the dignity and gravitas of Leonardo DiCaprio in Gatsby and ignore that they are an essential part of Santa’s uniform and more than just an accessory for the bumbling clown at your child’s birthday party.

 

 Swashbuckling

The tough guy swashbuckling that suspenders can lend is perhaps best played up by the James Bond character enacted by Daniel Craig.

In Casino Royale and Skyfall, he sports white Moires braces with white leather joints and braid ends against a white shirt background as he beats his nemeses like a drum. But it is Michael Douglas who perhaps wears the most iconic pair of braces in Wall Street. The suspenders look is versatile and fluid to be bold and sophisticated at the same time, as well as classic and hip all in one.

It is so suave, it can easily give a modern twist to the characters of a prohibition era movie as portrayed in the speakeasy characterisation of Boardwalk Empire.

Like other men’s mid-century essentials such as tie bars, pocket squares and fedoras, suspenders have come back to the fashion scene with more than just a nostalgic, retro throwback.

 

 Everyday wear

Depending on your style, suspenders go with almost every type of outfit.

They are just as suitable for the workaday and casual everyday wear, as they are perfect for business outfits.

It is the piece of clothing that would look great on a bartender and still distinguish a white-collar worker in a formal suit.

As a matter of fact, discerning women know too well that prince charming does not have to be the dapper guy in a fitted suit at the back of a Mercedes, nor does he have to swoop in with a fluttering cape.

Some times, he just wears suspenders and a bow-tie!

TWITTER: @omondipaul