Pull up your socks

Nairobi; Kenya: It is the little things that matter – like the greens stuck in your teeth after a meal, or the hole in your socks.

Nairobi County Governor Evans Kidero should know.

His love for vintage is telling, from the car he drove in to his swearing in ceremony, to old socks with a gaping peek-a-boo hole on his right foot during the official opening of a spa in Westlands, sullying an otherwise dignified suited look with a disgrace, not unlike that of a portly man in ballet tights.

But he is in good and powerful company.

It seems that torn socks, like scandal, have a way of coalescing around the mighty and influential.

He is not the first leader to attract the snidey reportage over a socks shocker.

The late John Michuki, might have got his act right when it came to passenger service vehicles, but he got us talking over a hole in his socks which made headlines in a local daily, thanks to the keen eyes of photographer Fred Onyango.

GREY SCRUFFY SOCKS

Internationally, former World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz’s wardrobe deficiencies were laid bare in 2007, when he took off his shoes on a visit to a mosque in Turkey, to reveal grey scruffy socks, with more than ample tear through which knobby big toes peeked.

David Cameron was also hauled over the coals when he appeared on ITV’s This Morning Show in 2010, with socks so threadbare, observers could easily make out a hole large enough to slip your fingers through at his right ankle.

You would expect that it is people like those – who assumedly revel in luxury – would be the first to know that the only holes socks should have are the openings at the top for slipping your feet into the hosiery!

Yet, surprisingly, it is the nonagenarian George HW Bush who comes across as an affectedly elegant socks wearer.

He stole the show last year with his sassy, strawberry-pink socks when the surviving US presidents gathered in Dallas to dedicate the presidential library of his son.

He even made President Barack Obama, seated by his side, pale by comparison in the safety of black socks-black shoes tradition.

He is daring in his choice of sock colours and has been spotted in a rainbow wheel of socks at various events.

On his 89th birthday, the former CIA chief wore Superman socks.

Yet this foppish look is not really for the old, but rather an à la mode fad of dandy youth and stylish men.

These are the statement socks that are leading a groundswell in the revolution of taste in men’s wardrobe.

It reminds me of the time I turned for an interview with Daniel Adongo, Kenya’s only National Football League player.

His 6 foot plus body dwarfed the sofa as he stretched his legs, revealing rather garish green socks.

“What’s with the socks...,” my colleague begun, before the athlete cut her short with a knowing smile.

“Where have you been? He posed. “This is what’s trending now.”

The look is a galactic leap from the days of sweaty, thick, ghastly and dark-coloured Duke Socks made popular with the Mbona unavaa viatu bila socks?/Hapana zimeteremka ndani ya viatu radio commercial.

SARTORIAL ETIQUETTE

Statement socks are a counterintuitive revolution that is rendering men’s dress rule book obsolete and debunking the “myths” of proper and sartorial etiquette.

Long-held rules that the colour of your socks should be the same shade as the pants or shoes are beginning to sound and look boring.

That makes a recent apology by a never-on-trend Robert Burale for wearing socks that did not match the colour of his shoes during a TV fashion programme pointless.

But pastor/ actor/ relationship expert/ image consultant/ motivational speaker Burale, whose preachy twiddle-twaddle is on almost all Kenyan TV networks, can be forgiven because he is clueless about fashion, always mixes his sartorial metaphors and just waddles through fashion talk to while away the time.

When it comes to socks, it looks like Einstein had foresight when he said, “My sense of fashion is unmatched, and that is why my socks do not match.”

We could as well be discovering a new relativity theory of unmatched fashion sense!

Colourful socks are making ties seem superfluous and putting pressure on pocket squares in a duel for supremacy in the man’s wardrobe.

As things stand, the statement socks may carry the day, by giving men the versatile and trendy look that jewellery has achieved with such graceful ease with women’s attire.

KENYA’S NATIONAL BUDGET

With these socks being all the rage, the sale of men’s apparel outpaced those of women for the first time in the US in the past decade.

Even Rob Kardashian has launched a line of adventuresome socks with witty messages like “YOLO” and “Kiss Me.”

The world trade in socks currently exceeds $5.6 billion (Sh498 billion) annually, which is almost half Kenya’s national budget.

Of course not everyone is venturesome enough to embrace the feisty trend of statement socks, meaning traditional, dark and solid-coloured alternatives and argyles will have more than just a toe-hold of the market.

They will work especially for business dressing or sombre occasions like funerals, where an ostentatious expression of individuality or amour-propre could make you come across as a gaudy bozo.

As long as you get your wools, cottons, cashmeres and silks right, your unsightly feet would be snug and well-pampered.

Just avoid the dowdy, ”sad-dad” socks and sandals look, while keeping in mind that white socks are only for Michael Jackson and sportsmen...or those attending a costume party!