Expert suggests shocking food security measures

By Mark Mutahi

A reknowned academic has played down hopes that recent measures taken to enhance food security will make a difference to a country that has perpetually struggled to feed itself for decades.

Speaking at a workshop on food security, Prof Wayne Loonie warned that the current efforts such as putting millions of acres under irrigation, reducing overreliance on rain fed agriculture, providing farm subsidies, mechanisation and automation of agriculture and so on will amount to nothing.

He suggests that unconventional methods such as the ones contained in his newly launched book, Food Security in Africa; what Wells Fargo, G4S, KK and others can do, are not utilised.

“You cannot talk food security when millions of Kenyans are having their meals while not wearing a bullet proof vest or having a bodyguard standing behind them,” the food security expert argued.

“These and other things are the kind of security measures that we have to put in place otherwise we will continue to be food insecure for years to come,” the expert added.

Firearms

Other suggestions the academic has put forward to improve food security includes urging people to avoid eating with their hands and adopt Western methods of eating.

“It‘s time for us black Africans to learn how to use two knives and a fork even when eating ugali. One knife and one fork for the food and the extra knife for defending yourself, just in case you are attacked,” said the renowned food security expert.

Another measure he proposes is to have all food sellers licensed to carry firearms.

“Also all workers at food establishments should be required to have some form of paramilitary training,” he said.

“It is not enough to have surveillance cameras at restaurants and other food joints if you want to enhance food security to levels never seen before,” he added.

Lock and key

Another recommendation from the food security expert is to have all parents give their children lunchboxes that come with a lock and key. This will ensure that when at school the child’s food is safe and secure.

With regards to the farmer’s markets and other places where farm produce is sold, the professor had interesting advice. He suggested that when the farmers and traders are taking their produce to the market they should not leave their farm equipment and implements behind.

“The machetes, the jembes, the pangas — these can be very vital in case of a security lapse. And farmers should make a habit of ensuring they are always in the vicinity even when visiting a banking hall,” the renowned agricultural expert advised.

The university don also argued that bootlicking and other ways of sucking up to the boss can also be effectively used to enhance food security in the country.

“Well that’s because you need an income to put food on the table. Duh!” the don explained, when he was asked to elaborate the point.

This is not the first time Prof Loonie is raising controversy on a food–related subject and has actually never known hunger in his life, since he regularly has to eat his own words.

Just recently, he was quoted suggesting that all that media houses need to do to ensure balanced reporting.

This, he said, would ensure their reporters were put on a balanced diet.