Tips for better love life in New Year

By Tony Masikonde

Every year your resolutions sound the same: Save more money. Lose some weight. Lay off the booze. See your buddies more.

And while all of those are admirable goals, why not make a resolution that benefits your body and your relationship? In fact, in 2014, why not pledge to have the better sex life?

My pals and I think you should. And we’re here to help. That’s why we’ve scoured the latest research and phoned the leading experts to create a list that’s guaranteed to bring you more pleasure in the New Year. From spanking to role-play, you’re only several steps away from a happier, healthier sex life.

Grunts and moans may make your point, but telling her what you want and how she makes you feel is a better way to make her temperature rise.

“It’s sexy for her to hear your desires in bed, because you’re both in such an uninhibited state,” explains Emily, a masseur and an increasing popular girl among my band of drinking mates, for obvious reasons. But she has sworn never to personally attend to any of her friends; instead she says that there are plenty of pretty Ethiopians she could suggest. Nevertheless, this has not stopped Frao dreaming and he has been reading too to keep abreast with her expertise.

A book that Frao came across during the festive season says that the more couples used “crude language” between the sheets—by, for instance, opting for “tits” over “breasts” the more satisfied they felt with their sexual communication. Emily agrees. “Make your bedroom your little tucked away getaway, where you can visit several times a week, and be just the two of you just the olden days.

Fantasies

“Turn her fantasies into reality by asking her a couple of not-so-innocent questions” says Emily. Or, ask if there’s anything she’s always wanted to try in bed, but was too embarrassed to admit.

By asking directly, you’re more likely to get an honest answer. And if you share your desires first, it takes the pressure to reciprocate off her shoulders, adds Emily.

One surprise advice that the boys were quick to dismiss from Emily is that helping out chores in the house would lead to better sex life this year.

While as all the boys in the band out rightly dismissed this advice, I figured that just because it looked like it could not work for us is no good reason not to share it here.

“Seriously, just try it. When you offer to do dishes and she has been sitting there tired contemplating leaving them overnight, it is a pleasant surprise for her and trust me she will be keen to reciprocate in bed” Emily reiterated.

“What if you have a house help and domestic chores is her core performance target, are you not entering dangerous territory as a man of the house?” I challenged her.

“When I say the dishes, you don’t have to literally stick to the dishes, if it’s not possible to do them without interfering with other peoples work. You can choose to iron for her that blouse you know she likes wearing on a warm Saturday.

If she wakes up on a Saturday morning to find that you have done some ironing for her, be sure that you will be offered lots of endearments throughout the day and much more at night!”

Stella, our ever dependable girl also adds that an unexpected gift will go a long way in oiling a couple’s relationship.

 “You don’t have to wait until Valentine’ Day or her birthday to shower her with gifts. Pick a random day and get her gift. This will get her to cloud nine and since she does not know when next to expect such a gift the warmth of the suspense keeps you in her, mind throughout.

So gentlemen, kazi kwenu (the ball is in your court).