Getting married is no licence to ‘balloon’

By NIKKO TANUI

KENYA: So many things puzzle me in life. One of them is how a very beautiful woman, who can pass for a model, forgets to keep fit and lets her body grow out of shape just because she is married.

It seems, our women only look their best when dating. Once the coveted ring slides down their finger, they literally sing hallelujah and everything goes south, in terms of her physical appearance.

I mean, when dating, it’s common to see a man beg a woman to clear her meals and even urge her to eat more.  But the man gets shock of his life once he marries the same woman. She spares nothing, she munches all sorts of junk. And after a very short time, she balloons.

Things will get worse after she gives birth. She will sit on her bum more squarely and blame the expanding girth on her travails of nursing the poor baby.

Come on, singer Beyonce (Mrs Jay-Z) had a baby too, and in no time she was looking sexy and fabulous. One would be forgiven for thinking the baby news was just but tabloid rumours.

Beyonce and women of her ilk don’t get back to shape after childbirth because of special genes. They work so hard to get back in shape and keep fit by regularly exercising and watching what they eat.

There is nothing in the world, more saddening, than a woman who shuts her sexual appeal once she gets a man or a baby.

And don’t get it twisted. I’m not in anyway suggesting that a woman has to look like a model from dawn to dusk. Even professional models have at one time or another been caught looking worse than an average Janette. 

However, when a man is used to a certain standard and there’s a drop-off in quality of appearance, he might feel cheated.

 That is one of the reasons many men literally go back to the sea for a fresh catch.

What made your man chase you all over town is because you used to smell like flowers. So don’t begin smelling like a rotting roadkill along Mombasa Road.

Just keep saying that now you have a man, you don’t have to work hard to look good anymore. Let’s see if you will still have him by Valentine’s Day.