How parents create unrealistic lifestyles for children

By VERONICA CHEROP

KENYA: Most schools around the country open tomorrow. The past few days have seen parents and guardians run up and down to shop for their children going back to school. The shopping for those heading to boarding schools is usually exaggerated ­­ it includes tinned foodstuffs, different flavours of crisps, biscuits, juices, sugar, various brands of bread spread and beverages. The shopping is so heavy that sometimes parents have to help their children carry it to the dormitory!

In addition to buying more than what the children need in less than two months (they will be home for mid-term and another round of shopping), the parents go ahead to give them crazy amounts of pocket money.

What is this money for?

By doing this, you are exposing the children to an unrealistic lifestyle; indeed raising future disasters. Life sometimes hands people lemons and they must learn to make lemonade and not complain about the sour taste. Through this kind of juvenile pampering, parents are making the young ones feel it is their right to be extravagant and wasteful. They join the Kenyan youths who spent more than Sh200 billion on booze, drugs and entertainment last year. This is because they have money without responsibility.

I recently asked a neighbour whose child is joining Form Four why she was adhering to the list of shopping, which had items that were unnecessary. Her response startled me. “I don’t want her to think we are mean to her,” she said as she went on to fill the trolley with different brands of jam.

I wondered how she would have turned out had her responded to her ever whims and bought all those lavish and unnecessary items.

Children will one day grow up to be mothers, fathers and leaders. But if some parents continue this trend of splashing money on their children for the sake of it, they will have irresponsible young adults like my colleague’s younger brother whose only financial obligation is fuelling and servicing his 2.5-litre saloon fuel guzzler and enjoying the fine things in life such as expensive wines, eating out at exclusive hotels and travelling to exotic sites so that he has something to tell his friends from rich families.

When his mother fell ill and the family decided to pool resources to take her abroad for treatment, the little brother said he had no money to contribute. “I am broke. You guys are used to doing these things; go ahead and see to it that mom gets treatment,” he told his sister as he zoomed off in his shiny sports car!

The siblings were enraged. They had contributed fees to see their last-born brother through university and he had turned out to be a selfish monster.

Before the children go to school tomorrow, sit with them this evening and discuss finances as a family. If you have never found out, as them what they use the pocket money for because you have already bought everything. You will be shocked to hear that some use the money to ‘bribe’ popular students to be their friends; that they also use the snacks to ‘buy’ friendship or show off. As a parent or guardian, this is the time to encourage your child to love himself or herself for who they are  and teach them survival skills.

You don’t have to cut the amount you usually give for pocket money. Instead, talk about saving some for investment or to buy something important.

When they buy something using their money, they will value it more. This year, help your children appreciate the value of money; that it is hard earned and shouldn’t be spent carelessly.