Are women holding the short end of the stick?

By TONY MASIKONDE

KENYA: In the last couple of weeks, there has been a passionate and spirited debate on the Marriage Bill by members of both ridges.

In its initial form, the bill was evidently pro-women to the point that it was dabbed ‘Gold digger’s manna’.

My good pal Frao was so raving mad that he preached to all who cared, which was usually when he is high on low-end things.

Even as the bill was going through the motions in Parliament, Frao had threatened to temporarily take leave and join Maendeleo ya Wanaume in advocating for wholesome changes to the bill.

Looks like Frao’s cries were heard by Parliament, that is full of men who themselves saw the pitfalls of a bill that sought to sort them out.

On the day the bill was massacred by the ‘Just House for Men’, Frao was in cloud nine.

“Tony, I’m begging to re-evaluate my perception towards our lawmakers?” he announced one evening as he swirled his glass of Jameson.

“What has changed now?” I knew Frao and Mark were some of the harshest critics of the August House.

Marriage Bill

“The men in that house have stood on ‘all feet’ and stamped their authority against lazy Kenyans who want to while the hours away and still be regarded as co-directors in marriage,” Frao announced, making sure the women at the next table overheard his declaration.

To Frao and Mark, the fortunes of Parliament changed in just one afternoon with the Marriage Bill.

Frao likes a good banter, especially with the womenfolk in pubs and on this day he got one.

One of the ladies next table, stopped by our table and announced that the bill was insensitive to women’s plight.

“What insensitivities are you alluding to?” asked Mark as he pulled a seat and motioned her to sit.

“You look like you are more informed that you speak, so I will choose to assume the whisky is guilty,” started the lady.

Non-monetary

Liking what I had already heard, I ordered her another glass of wine. “There are non-monetary aspects in marriage that is hard to quantify even by actuaries like us,” she announced.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Frao’s eyes widen; he is usually frightened by highly educated women.

“During debate in Parliament, women MPs argued that domestic labour, companionship, taking care of children, farm work and house chores were all part of non-monetary contributions that ought to be quantified,” announced a lady who, we discovered later is called Akoth and worked with a leading insurance firm. 

“It is true many women stay at home to cook, clean and take care of the children, formed part of the non-monetary contribution to a marriage that entitled them to an equal share of matrimonial property,” she argued.

If roles were reversed, continued Akoth, men would all check in hospitals for psychiatrist help.

Unpaid care

You men must be alive to the fact that women offer ‘delicate unpaid care’ to the family, which is the intangible labour that does not comprise exchanges that usually occur in a market place.

Pressed by Frao to explain the unpaid care theory, she said,  “Okay, I see you don’t get it. Let me explain something,” before getting into a high gear. 

“Every time you parade me in dinners to men when am wearing a little black dress, you draw envy from your male friends on account of my good legs and their imagination on how good I could be in bed.”

And she was not finished.

“Just why would you not want to pay for such services? Or would you rather I do the fee collection myself? Frao sunk back in his seat and shut up completely.