Theories behind illicit lovers getting stuck!

By PHILIP MUASYA

Can couples really get stuck during sexual intimacy?  Medical doctors, whom some people dismiss as clueless regarding the matters of ‘sexual lock down’, describe the situation as a temporary medical condition that is treatable.

However in Ukambani, such ‘lock downs’ are normal. And they are not medical, according to traditional experts.

 As a matter of fact, randy men who have affinity for preying on other men’s wives are advised to tread carefully, lest one bumps into a wife who has a ‘lock’.

In Ukambani lovers have been busted stuck together while on the throes of intimate passion and unsuccessfully struggling to disentangle.

Lately though such have been witnessed elsewhere in the country where the unfortunate couples are hauled into police trucks, wrapped in blankets and dumped in hospitals to await their fate under bewildered doctors.

In Kamba land, there exists mbingo (meaning lock) where a suspicious husband can ‘lock’ his wife such that she will never enjoy sexual bliss outside her marriage. Such mbingo is sometimes extended to homesteads where the family head, with the help of a witch-doctor, installs it to cushion his home from thieves and intruders.

But it is mbingo ya mundu muka (putting a lock on a woman) that continues to cause bewilderment among many people. Kamba traditionalists swear that this ‘lock’ helps to curb infidelity in couples and will catch the ‘thief’ pants down.

I sought to explore how this mbingo is installed, how it works and its effectiveness.

The results were dumbfounding and hilarious. Mzee Mbuvi Musyimi, 83, from Mukuthu village in Mwingi Central District says there are three types of mbingo that will prevent an amorous wife from straying. According to Musyimi, only men can ‘lock’ their wives and not the other way round.

“This is because the male species is wired for polygamy. Even the witch-doctors who fix this mbingo are men, so they will never lock their fellow men,” Musyimi says.

He says the first scenario is where a man buys a string and takes it to a witch-doctor where it is treated with muthea (magic portion). It is then handed over to the client as the witch-doctor mumbles incantations. The husband is advised to place the muthea laced cord at a strategic place in his homestead, such as on the way to the toilet, kitchen or bedroom where his wife will unknowingly jump over it.

 “Use all your tricks to have her jump over the specially prepared string. Once she does, it is a deal. Take it and hide it at a place known only by you,” says Musyimi, adding that with such a simple operation the wife is permanently ‘under lock and key’. Musyimi notes that this is the worst form of mbingo since a thieving man will get stuck on the woman, his male organ swell and then die within hours.

 Instead of killing the ‘thief’, Musyimi says many people prefer a second type of mbingo where you catch him in action and demand hefty compensation for ‘trespass’.

This is where a witchdoctor advises you to buy a knife that has a pouch. The witch-doctor will detach the knife from its pouch, treat it with muthea then give it back to the man.

“You are required to while away time from home for seven days, during which time the muthea becomes effective,” he says.

Hate him

A third type of mbingo involves inflicting temporary impotence on a stray man. Here a suspicious husband gets a powerful dose of muthea from a witch-doctor. One is then advised to discreetly apply this muthea on the private parts of the wife or a girlfriend.

“If another man comes knocking, his male organ will just become flaccid, lifeless and shrink. The woman will hate him for life,” says Musyimi, before breaking into a prolonged naughty laughter as I join in.