By TONY MASIKONDE
On Saturday, my pals Mark and Frao were planning on an evening full of bowling at The Village Market. They had roped in several other people so that we could have a couple of guys, and thereby, make the evening memorable.
So when I got the call about the intended evening date, I changed by plans and had to cancel a movie date with a former college mate. She did take it kindly, but I would have been mad to skip an evening of bowling and booze with the boys, to go and watch some stupid love fuelled movie, never mind it would have been in 3D.
On arriving at The Village Market, there was a long queue of cars that were being inspected by security guards prior to getting into the parking. Despite the delay, we patiently waited our turn. With what had happened at yet another upmarket mall, none was taking a chance. It would have been unthinkable to have all sorts of cars whizzing past the gate, without knowing the sorts of cargo they were bringing in. After I finally managed to squeeze my car between two mean looking Mercedes, I made my way to the bowling area.
I first spotted Frao. When he saw me, he decided to act as the ultimate alpha male.
“Tony, I see you have managed to get here, hope you did not get lost on the way. I thought you would be scared of the prices here” he said this with a chuckle.
Hustler
As if that was not enough, he introduced me as a struggling hustler from Kawangware. The girls shot me a ‘zoom’ look from the clean shaven head to my akala sandals and seemed to agree with his decree. Unbeknown to him, he had made the first major mistake of the evening.
I settled on a nearby sofa as I joined Mark with a female companion. They seemed to be in an intimate conversation. “I can join you guys, I hope am not interrupting anything”
“No… no. Please have a seat.” The girl offered politely.
Mark just kept quiet. Perhaps he had made inroads in attempting to take the girl to an outing, and so he did not welcome potential distraction or at worse competition.
Smartphone
Having read Mark’s mind, I decided to keep my peace. Whipped out my smartphone and started reading an e-book while nonchalantly sipping at my whisky. When the bills started flowing, I directed them all to Frao. He gave me a blood shot look from the opposite side of the table. He smsed me, “what is your problem?” I smsed back. “I‘m as fit as a fiddle and having a great time; I got no worry in the world.”
He texted back, “What’s up with the bills, we need to split.”
“Remember, am a struggler from Kawangware.”
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At this point, he shot up as if the leather seat was on fire, whispered something into my ear, then walked to the cloakroom (washrooms are for dingy places!).
When he came back, I shouted across the table. Frao, could I get another double tot of Jameson with my sister over there, who seems to have drained her glass too? The girl was first to react. She shot up and said, “Fantastic” as she tossed to my direction.
Grunted
There was no way Frao would refuse to buy her a drink as he wanted to look tough and rich. As for me, I was contented to be perceived poor if that’s what it took to escape the bills here.
Frao grunted his teeth as he beckoned the waiter for the umpteenth time. He was indeed paying the ultimate price for wanting to be the alpha male.