Fashion is all about vanity

By OYUNGA PALA

It is difficult to tell a partner that she is dressed inappropriately without causing offence. Especially when they have walked past a whole line of onlookers and no one said a word. Many coupled men are forced to learn how to approach the matter delicately, because to tell a woman who spent nearly an hour picking out an outfit, that her mirror is playing tricks on her takes guts.  It is not uncommon for the messenger to be shot in these instances. Unfortunately, some women have no access to the benefit of a second opinion and have become totally oblivious to the notion of public decency.

There are clothes for every occasion, but apparently this level of common sense is not as widespread as one would imagine. It is generally not a good idea to wear clothing that is overtly sexual in connotation and strut into a boys’ school.  One such incident played out recently.

Cleavage

A woman in her early 30s woke up on a Monday morning and miraculously slipped into a pair of jeans two sizes too small and strutted into a boys’ school to deliver a talk. The guest speaker, an endowed woman in every department delicately balancing on high heels, left little to imagination. Add a cleavage popping out like a beached whale and as expected, she had her audience captive albeit for the wrong reasons.

Naturally, the hormonal ravaged boys got seriously distracted and kept making sneaky comments throughout the entire length of the lecture.

None of her colleagues were bold enough to tell her that the outfit was a bit much because in these liberal times, you mind your own business. Often times, the woman in question is too vain to understand the fashion faux pas.

There is a new vanity in town and sexy is the new aspiration. If you have it, you must flaunt it. The sad reality though, is that sexy is a fantasy perpetuated by the mirror. I admit there are occasions that call for sexy but you cannot be sexy all the time. A walk through the streets of Nairobi is an assault on the male senses. We may have been schooled to keep our thoughts on higher things, but when body parts are thrust in every line of sight a man should be allowed to plead reprieve in the interests of public decency.

Clothes meant for the club have become office wear. The big mystery remains, why do women still slip into clothes a size smaller when they haven’t been eating green or doing their sit ups regularly? Why are some women seemingly so caught up in playing hottie?  Why would anyone wear hot pants to the office? I am not asking anyone to cover up and hide their ‘beauty’, but there is thin line between sexy and sleazy that should not be crossed with such impunity.

Saggy pants

Fortunately, male fashion is still monitored by social sanction. Generally, you can wear what you want until you grow up. Then the game changes and you learn to respect the standard. At some point, the skinny jeans have to go. Saggy pants, brandishing underwear becomes seriously out of line behaviour. A few roasts from the peer circle will call attention to the absurdity and in time a man catches the drift, and pulls up his pants.  The moral of this tale is simply; dress modestly, you are not that hot.