Nairobi women love the men they can’t stomach

By TONY MASIKONDE

In their hunt for the perfect partner, most men go to great strengths to appear as the perfect choice, even prepared to forget about the Saturday rugby and football dates with the boys to accompany the soul mate to shopping or saloon.

But are sisters really ready for the nice guys?  This is what we had to grapple with during last week’s monthly nyama choma with the boys at Olootikosh near Kiserian.

“Your love life is ruined the minute the girls in town start describing you as a nice guy,” argued Frao. “Men are not supposed to be nice — they are not clothes or apartment for heaven’s sake. They ought to be interesting, humorous and never predictable.”

“I wish I had known about this ‘Mr nice bravado’ thing four years ago when the girl I was dating was about to end the relationship,” started Herbert solemnly, an accountant with a tour company. 

Lost love

Mike, our not too straight chama member, had invited Herbert to our choma bonanza. And from the looks of his trousers, we were unsure which side he swings until he made that confession of lost love.

“She subjected me to a series of tests to determine my level of masculinity and I just flunked,” Herbert confessed.  I too, could see why he was dumped.

“I think she wanted me to be stronger with her and I wasn‘t. I was too in awe of her, too much of a wimp, she said,” he added pitifully as he swung a bottle of Smirnoff Ice to his mouth.

This belief that women enjoy the company of extraordinary men is nothing new.

Intrigue

Tigress Luv in her book Why Women Love Bastards intimates that men who follow straightjacket behaviour cannot sustain fun and interest in a relationship.  She argues that men must endeavour to keep their women not only entertained but also by always guessing what they are up to next.

“I got tired of being a really nice guy, and constantly being ‘punished’ for it through rejection, besides being walked all over, or taken for granted when all the lovely girls I would rather have were with the seemingly bad boys,” Mark revealed.

Stacy found that a tad silly and she said as much.

“The only problem between us is that men want to be needed, and women need to be wanted. Not the other way around. It‘s that simple, it’s just that you guys never get it!” she retorted.

“Stacy, you don’t have to make it sound so complicated. Some women — just like an old toy — do not thrill children — are not mesmerised by a dull guy, which means one they have totally figured you out. Once you no longer offer sufficient intrigue, which good guys don’t and bad boys have in abundance, they are off,” explained Frao rather imaginatively.

He should know. Paul, his cousin, is another victim of the nice guy label.  “I went through the ‘nice guy phase’ and realised my sex life was taking a nose dive. But with time, I eventually managed to ‘bastardise’ my way into many successful intimate relationships and made gallant efforts to make up for the lost time,” he added with a sly wink.