Is it time for phone courtesy campaign in matatus?

By KAMAU MUTUNGA

Nairobians have some very annoying habits. Take the glaring lack of phone etiquette from charlatans suffering from effects of poor upbringing and city council schooling.

A person will quietly queue for half an hour, but no sooner does the matatu gas up than out comes some ‘Hi-Phone’ into which they mouth for all and sundry: “Sasa ile 50k kama hutanilipa I will call my debt collector… skiza (Nairobians rarely say sikikiza) kuwa mtu mzima….!” and on goes the yapping after harshly instructing the makanga to “zima mziki!”

When the first Irritant-in-Chief is done another takes over and woofs that “mwili hauja valishwa nguo…eeh!... nimetoka mortuary imagine!”

Sympathy seeker wants everyone to know Kenya is one taxpayer less, in the face of recently introduced VAT, no less.

Next she calls the long-suffering resident Dj (who spins discs in the kitchen) with enquiries of whether “mwana amelala?...amekula?...ulimpatia dawa?...aliacha kuharisha?... alienda kwa neighbour?...”

Never mind the Associate-Irritant is about to alight and will have answers on arrival at the flat where she practices balcony farming.

Discussing private matters in public transport and with characters from whom if no cash is forthcoming leads to questions like, “unataka nifungiwe nyumba?” are very irritating, mentally disruptive to individual train of thought (that might inspire ideas on how to improve the pencil sharpener), disrespectful and downright Third World.

People have this psychological itch of indirectly broadcasting aspects of their lives, yet nobody cares a squirrel’s fart your son scored a ‘D-’ “nasasa sijui kama aende Approved School…?”

Spewing in graphic detail your nocturnal escapades during that weekend of carousal in Naivasha does not mean you will be envied.

Or admired. It means you are a ‘first timer’ on the cusp of infertile quiver.

Add loud voices, ushamba ringtones and you begin to understand why you don’t know airhead nincompoops until they open their mouths…to their phones (on loud speaker) in a matatu.

In Finland, the above plus “scrambling in handbags for ringing phones” were the pet peeves reported by passengers in a phone courtesy campaign survey in 2012. 

What are the most annoying phone habits that annoy you in public transport?

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