Men should shut up when ‘driving’

 By Mony Masikonde

How much can a man talk during the act without being a turn off to his partner?

This is the headache we found ourselves grappling with last weekend. Brayo, Frao, Stacy and yours truly had decided to go to Nairobi West and eat some pork, in memory of the MP’s dream perk that went in smoke last week.

Style

Apparently, our good friend Stacy had a female colleague who opened the Pandora’s Box on bedroom matters, barely after her third Redds can. The girl going by the name Sween (goodness, where do they get these names) surprised us when she revealed that she had to ditch one of her boyfriends (yes you have read that correctly), because the brother was always talking too much when he is supposed to be focusing at the task in hand.

Frao as you would expect wanted the whole exposé, so he asked for the details. “He would talk about anything and everything. He would start with what he was doing, but he would eventually drift to movies or love songs. I found that a major turn off.” Sween continued to spill the beans.

So the big elephant in the room remained, why would a man talk a lot instead of focusing at the task in hand – ‘ploughing’?

“Well…” Brayo started “One, it could mean he perhaps is not enjoying…” In that instance I shot him a glare that said it all “Don’t dare mention that!”. He quickly and brilliantly changed the sentence in a manner that I, too, couldn’t help but admire him.” … the same style and he is afraid of asking you to experiment…”

“What do you mean, the guy would flip me all over like burger on a pan” she continued.

That got Brayo tongue tied and I realised we need to steer this conversation in safer and saner regions.

I think that is a perfect example that men can indeed multi-task complex activities, besides lifting a mug of beer and watching football on telly, I offered.

“Yeah you are right, but you know what, you men make a poor effort at multitasking. There was no way you can successfully execute the two without compromising the quality of one,” Sween insisted.

Stacy, what is your take, Frao tried to drag her into the conversation knowing that occasionally she tells it as it is.

“For me, I don’t have the presence of mind to talk during horizontal acrobatics because I’m too involved in the physical sensations. We have a lot of nonverbal communication, though. And I have my ways of communicating to my hubby about what feels good because when it feels really good, I have absolutely no problem in getting him to do more of what he’s doing, if it means more of what I feel”.

Seeing that we were not making headway in this, we invited a girl from next table that Frao had been eying – as she nursed her red wine. She had been eavesdropping at our conversation and she seemed to enjoy the talk.

She turned out to be another cougar. “I love the sound of a man’s voice, I am far more turned on by vocal stimulation than how some one looks or smells, or even touches me. It would be very unlikely for me to be attracted to a man with a more feminine voice even if he looked like Denzel Washington.”

 She continued, that being said, I am a talker, I love getting chatty during ‘the big game’ itself, which means the man has to shut up and listen… and keep driving!