Mark’s wife falls into her own trap

By Tony Masikonde

There is a popular saying in Africa that you cannot entrust your goats to a leopard.

Now this is wisdom that our forefathers gathered hundreds of years ago even though they were still walking around half naked.

Today, the sagacious wisdom is very much in force as we found out.

Suave

Poor Mark has always considered himself smooth and suave, especially when it comes to the matters of the fair sex. He has a fancy smartphone that can bar calls from certain people when he undertakes clandestine moves.

Mark has been arriving at his house past 10pm smelling rather fresh for someone who leaves his house early in the morning and spends his time poring through tens of files as an auditor.

His wife, upon rummaging through his pockets, has unearthed nothing apart from a half a dozen beer bills. She had also picked a strange scent twice in his clothes but was not too sure. Mark escaped by explaining that he had sat next to a heavily perfumed woman in a matatu.

These red flags led her into doing what she thought she would never have to do — investigate her husband. She did it the pro way. She talked to her girls and settled on hiring a private investigator. The guy met Mark’s wife who tipped him her husband’s favourite hangout joints in Nairobi West and Upper Hill.

After two weeks of hard work, the PI had some submissions to make, so they arranged to meet at one of the coffee shops.

As fate would have it, one of the waiters at the coffee shop is our friend, having previously benefitted from our generosity in tips.

Suspicious

So when he saw Mark’s wife with a young handsome man, and they both kept looking over their shoulders, he grew suspicious. He surreptitiously took a photo of the two and called Frao. He had his number since we occasionally pay our bills to him via Mpesa — post-paid, if you know what I mean.

To cut a long story short, the damaging photo finally reached Mark and he also swung into action. He hired a PI, too, to monitor his wife.

Thirst

Though he cannot deny that he has cheated on his wife on a number of occasions, seeing her sitting close to another man with their noses barely touching has been eating him away.

This also opened up his thirst for the beer and he has gone looking for old flames, reasoning that if his wife is doing it he might as well do it.

Last week on Friday, his PI scheduled an appointment for a briefing and what was tabled to him has been startling. His wife of many years has acquired a mpango wa kando as well

Berserk

The PI has established with damning evidential photos that Mark’s wife is romping with the same man that she had been pictured with by the coffee shop waiter, the PI she enlisted to unearth ungodly things about Mark.

This was revealed to us by the PI he hired: “This guy is called Fred and he is also a PI and their offices are in downturn Nairobi…”

We have called a men-only consultative forum this Friday to chart the way forward as the brother is going berserk.