Quacks making a kill out of poor patients

BY GRACE NAKATO

Trouble with human plumbing has always been something that is whispered about: Barrenness.

What I find interesting is that those who want children cannot conceive and others just need a man to sneeze near them and they are soon with a child.

That, however, is a discussion for another day. Today let us talk about the business of minting money from diagnosing and treating women with medical issues.

Ghost medics

The number of quacks operating in Uganda is even higher than the ghost medics who are on the government payroll. I think I am in the wrong profession because lately, gynecology is the latest cash cow in this corner of the globe. You do not even need a white lab coat or a stethoscope — confidence and a lot of practice will carry the day.

In the news recently was a 72-year-old traditional midwife who was found with ten fresh graves in her banana plantation.

The high fertility rate and shunning of condoms has ensured a lucrative line of business in performing illegal abortions. Most of her clients come in the dead of the night, having been referred by word of mouth. When a woman wants to get rid of an unwanted growth in her womb, complications or death are the last things on her mind.

When police busted grandma, she had two live patients and one dead body under the bed. I think the whistle blower was a disgruntled significant other who wanted to keep his offspring.

Grandma is unrepentant and says that she cannot turn away women who come to seek her help, especially considering the present economy.

Richard Kigoye’s is a 30 year old who has been masquerading as a Surgeon/Gynaecologist attached to the Cancer Institute at Mulago Hospital — Uganda’s largest referral hospital.

He has a hospital ID card and branded business cards and a big client base grown largely by word of mouth. A prospective client is only requested to meet him with their medical history and consultations are conducted at posh, discrete hotels around Kampala where no questions are asked.

Scan

Dr Richard has cured many and has a strong female following. He was only busted after he failed to issue a receipt to his last patient, who had been referred to him by her friend having consistently failed to conceive. Dr Richard perused her medical history, and thereafter sent her to obtain a scan. Upon checking out the scan, he diagnosed the cause as a ruptured uterus for which he prescribed penicillin to prevent further infection and help her conceive.

Sting

The patient only became suspicious when no receipt was issued and consulted with a friend who told her to report the case to police. A sting operation was thus set up when the police realised that he was not even registered at Mulago hospital.

The charges are impersonation and obtaining money by false pretense. No one seems to consider that he was endangering human life.

In most pharmacies, it is a case of willing buyer willing seller; anyone in a white lab coat is Musawo (Doctor). But I hear it is the same story in Kenya.