No woman is any man's leftover

No woman is any man’s leftover (Photo: iStock)

You all remember Kevin Samuels (may he rest in peace anyway) who jammed our social media notifications with “unmarried women over 35 are leftovers”? It boiled up and created a rift between the genders, with men, equally the same age or even way older, agreeing with his sentiments and trolling over 35s, calling them real leftovers.

Man. It was bad and still is. A woman above 35 who isn’t married can’t have an opinion. It will go down and get ugly!

Samuels warned men about dating or even about settling down with such babes because “there’s always something wrong with them”. Well, it’s interesting to learn that a good number of our brothers who keep talking about this are unmarried and about the same age. You’d wonder if age is all about women or what’s the fuss all about.

Something that y’all should know is that these over 35s are being hit on daily by men of all ages! They’re being pursued, only that such women are picky and choosy because they know their value.

I don’t know if we can label over 35, unmarried men pursuing women in this same bracket, as leftover men. Because if we’re agemates and unmarried, why do you still have value while you think mine has depreciated?

We brand women like we would brand commodities on the shelves! Women are not a piece of bread that will go bad after a few days. It only gets better. This sexist and misogynistic thinking about women is disturbing.

Do you know that it’s not a woman’s job to remain young and beautiful simply for her to get married and have children for and with a man? Or merely be in a relationship?

We have a huge problem if when we look at a woman, start counting her years, and think that the older she gets, the less attractive and valuable she is.

You’ll find them on these streets of social media man-splaining with tired statistics and ratios on how things always get harder for women after 35. They’re not women themselves, how would they know how hard it gets for a gender that’s not theirs? So, does this mean that age waits for men?

We should find something else to talk about than this song of old unmarried women. The economy itself is not friendly to us and no one is getting out of this world alive anyway. Focus bana.

There’s more to this life than age and marriage. And again, if y’all unmarried 37, 39-year-olds want to marry 23-year-old girls, bruh, go ahead and walk them down the aisle. But remember how many leftovers you’ve literally left over, who’s gonna marry them? Double standards at its best!

This whole issue of dating and marriage is not just about someone’s age, and women are not their age. It’s about so much more that people look into before they decide to date a particular person and/or settle down with them. People have different priorities in life and marriage is not it. People, women want to invest and ensure they are stable before they set themselves up for another person in their lives. And, for worse never works for them.

See, we’re all born single. But no one is born independent. So allow people to find their independence, differently and privately. We learn, yearn and earn all we have; and it’s good, right and appropriate. No man would want to date a dependent woman. Absolutely no one.

And with the current dynamics of life and economy, where would you find an independent 25-year-old woman? Women find and fix their lives perfectly at slightly above 27 and that 35 that y’all are being told to avoid.

Dear unmarried woman over 35, babe, look in the mirror in front of you. You are beautiful. You ain’t anyone’s leftover – and if by any chance they can refer to you as leftovers, then you definitely also leftover someone somewhere! It takes two to tango.

Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t block yourself from feeling good and living your best life because one man with very fragile masculinity called you a leftover. You’re not!

You’re whole as you are. Married or not. A package. Tap into the things you love and care about. Be momentarily unexpectant and go on with your effing life as no one exists but you. Take care of you, and, keep glowing and growing.