Beyond money: Why young women fall for older men

A young woman dating an older guy. (Courtesy)

The attraction some young women feel towards older men often stems from a complex mix of emotional, developmental, and societal influences, says psychologist Mildred Asiema.

According to her, the main factor is financial stability where older men are often perceived as more financially and emotionally stable due to their life experiences and established careers.

This attracts young women who may seek partners to provide a sense of financial security, especially if they have faced instability in their own lives or past relationships.

She shares how women tend to mature faster than men in terms of emotional intelligence, which can make it challenging to connect with men of the same age.

She adds that older men are often viewed as more emotionally grounded, patient, and capable of handling relationships with a level of seriousness and care that younger men may not offer. There’s the perception of older men as more established and experienced in life, which can be appealing to younger women who may still be navigating their own identity and life goals,

Further, some women may gravitate toward older men because they associate them with caregiving or fatherly roles, especially if their own parental relationships were lacking or unfulfilling.

Asiema argues that age differences can create a power dynamic in relationships where the older partner takes on a more dominant role. “Some young women might be drawn to this dynamic, feeling that an older man will make decisions, provide guidance, or offer more life experience that she can learn from. For others, it might offer a sense of being taken care of or being protected by a more experienced partner,” observes the psychologist.

From a cultural perspective, society often values men for their resources and women for their youth - a dynamic that can influence relationship choices. 

Nonetheless, Asiema advises people to take time when it comes to selection of the opposite gender as some may look at the quality of partners in terms of financial ability only to learn later that they made a wrong choice.

“Taking time to understand each other before marriage is key as later it might hit you that you actually got a raw deal, when you realise he is a poor provider, lazy, philanderer and clueless about keeping a woman. This is the time relationships take a different direction,” she says in conclusion.