Why men on fourth floor should avoid Gen Z girls at all costs

A dissatisfied woman on a blind date. (Courtesy/iStock)

In a world that relies on research and empirical evidence to drive decisions in all spheres, social scientists are not left behind.

As we all know, there is a whole field of study called anthropology that has invested a lot of time and resources in understanding human trends and how the past shapes the future. Such documented studies are intended to help scholars to magically see the future using statistics long before it arrives.

Now, for example, male homo sapiens who are upwards of 30 years are advised to stick to women with strands of silver hair. In choosing a mate, brothers who have touched forth floor must ensure any prospective candidates demonstrate presence of enough wrinkles in places that were once smooth in their youthful days. We see some claiming that if their women bring them nyef nyef, they will swap them for tender flesh under 23 years old. This is where we need to laugh together until we fart.

You see, if the brothers cannot handle the women of their youth, they definitely cannot handle these fresh ones who recently graduated university. This is not the age of their forefathers when young women were cultured to be meek and take orders from men. Back then women of their generation were groomed to be at a man’s beck and call unlike these ones that supply more electricity than KPLC. Some communities would blame this increased voltage to the abolishment of FGM, but truth, the nipping of the antenna did contribute little significance compared to the weight of negative cultural manipulation.

If a man is dropping the sumbua he is used to because she cheated on him, he should be informed that these ones with crop tops will use his money to finance several ninjas wearing skinny jeans. They find nothing wrong with resource distribution. They are a generation that carries no empathy or shame in their system for as long as what they do makes them happy.

Studies show that younger female gonads are now more experienced than their older sisters’ in as far as handling mechanical strain is concerned. Men ought to stop assuming that the younger the organ, the lower the mileage, because these days, these birth canals can start making cross-border trips to Bujumbura by age sixteen.

If our ageing brothers think their Seng’enge ni ng’ombe t-shirt-wearing wives are boring, they should try the headache from these humans born mid 90s to 2000s. These ones even attend moaning classes from established whores to perfect their presentation skill to win a man’s pocket.

If one cannot stand his woman being harvested out there occasionally and feels determined to cut her loose, sociology directs that a brother must stick to his age mates. These heartbroken men with depreciating stamina in their phallus should look for someone who has safely retired from active gymnastics. Someone who knows KANU and drank free milk from Moi. They ought to consider candidates with kids, a career, and a reputation that ensures that they are not carefree enough to go collecting venereal diseases like Pokémon cards. These ancestors should get someone they can talk to without having to explain to them that Eurobond is not a European sex position. They should seek someone with declining horizontal energy so that they won’t have to take Viagra to satisfy them.

Older women are natural therapists by virtue of age and experience. Because they have hurt some men along the way, they have a genuine clue about what fixing a broken person entails.

The older men must have mercy on themselves and stick to their age mates. True, Satan whispers to all women, but mostly, the modern devil chats with these young lasses because they are easily available in the streets.

Avoid them at all costs. This is a sisterly advice.