Myth of Karma: When Kenyan wives take matters into their own hands

An angry wife shouting. (Courtesy/iStock)

Kenyan wives need to stop being delusional. I empathise with the pain of being married to a cheating spouse but threatening side chics with Karma is the weakest move I have ever seen. Karma does not exist. It is an imaginary thing losers evoke to feel better about themselves, and their failure to exert vengeance against those who hurt them.

Even if Karma is a thing, I hope one day Kenyan wives will realise that Karma is not when something bad happens to the other woman. Your husband will still find another and when something bad happens to her too, he will find another one. Single women are always going to be there. You cannot wish them away and even if it was possible, wishing them away is not Karma.

Karma is doing unto others what they do to you if not worse. Karma is cheating back. It levels the playing field between you and your husband. A lover for a lover. A side chick for a side boy. Karma is making him raise children who aren’t his. If he is so good at cheating, let him raise his brother’s children. Convince him to have a vasectomy and allow him to be aware of the fact that his children aren’t really his, on his 50th birthday, minutes before you leave him for good.

Kenyan wives also need to realize that their prayers are not anything close to being powerful. It is an illusion that has been passed down to women generation by generation by fraudulent pastors, who do not care about the harm women endure in marriages that are riddled with deceit and infidelity, and they need to wake up from it. No disrespect to their faith and systems of belief, but side chics must bellow with laughter anytime a married woman proclaims she prays to a living God.

 Married women married to philandering men swear they pray dangerous prayers, but these prayers never stop their men from pursuing other women. They pray and their men still turn up on Friday with girls young enough to be their daughters. They pray and their men are still on Instagram embarrassing themselves in different DMs. They pray and this God, who is the protector of the sacred realm of marriage, answers by blessing the womb of the side chick with twins, and instead of getting out of that delusion, they pray harder.

 They pray harder, wishing harm would befall the mpango wa kando, and when they notice the prayers aren’t working fast enough they start stalking the side chics, threatening them, and beating them up, and then they go back to praying once again. It is a very sad cycle. It is a cycle Kenyan wives need to break.

 How about instead of praying for the side chick you realize that the person who is truly causing you harm is the one who lies next to you every night? God would probably listen to your prayers if you asked him to punish the person who is cheating on you and you will never know this unless you change tact.

 You could be praying dangerous prayers but we are not seeing any results presumably because God hates participating in male unaccountability. He knows the side chick is not doing anything wrong. She is not married to you, your husband is. She is not in a committed relationship with you, your cheating partner is.  She did not swear she would be faithful to you, your husband did. He is the one who is out there breaking vows.

She would probably not take your husband if you handed him to her. Most of these side chicks just want to have their bills paid and you cannot fault them for taking advantage of the opportunities that are presented to them by life, or by your philandering husband. They do not owe you your husband’s fidelity. He is the only one who can give it to you. I hope one day, Kenyan wives will know that their husbands are the only homewreckers we have in this world. I hope they will step out of the lies they tell themselves and accept that their husbands cheat because they want to. No one tempts them.

 I hope Kenyan wives will not spend their whole lives fighting everyone except the enemy they are married to. If you are fighting women outside, the only thing you achieve is humiliating yourself. Your husband will not stop cheating.