Can love pay the bills? Why women care about your paycheck

An unhappy couple. (Courtesy/iStock)

Politics is a fluid platform that draws from our daily lives. Because most politicians are men, they have apparently mastered that art of deception and thrived on it for ages to create generations.

As a proven strategy, they admit to lying about who they really are to convince and cage women to make families. Some lie about their level of education; some lie about their backgrounds while others conceal their true identities.

By and large, many men put up an act of deception to sell up their financial standing in the eyes of the woman they want to earn a chance to marry them. The reason many politicians face a lot of revolt is the revelation that the campaign trail was made of lies and false promises. In many instances, the candidate loses in the subsequent election simply because they were unable to sustain the lies.

Similarly, men have an uphill task because if they cannot deliver on their promise, they are certainly bound to face revolt from the women in their bid to keep their role. In some cases, the men are not the problem. Women are equipped with antennas more powerful than those internet boosters that send signals to the sprawling northeastern desert terrain.

They are able to discern potential in a man and apply brain matrix to extrapolate the data to know if he will be the area chief of his village or the country director of UNEP. Many a times, we are never wrong but sometimes we miss the mark by a mile and suffer from something called post buyer remorse in middle age.

In this regard, there are two categories, both bound to face similar repercussions of post purchase remorse – I mean, the man who politically sells the wrong narrative to the woman and the other man who fails to live up to the heights projected by the woman’s instincts. No man is special. In fact, each man has only one responsibility - to succeed. Like the larger pool of observers, a wife does not care about the journey if it yields no results.

We wait at the finish line to count and congratulate winners even if that winner is the man that wakes up next to us each morning. Losers are just that, losers. There is no way we can coin a kinder term to accommodate a loser simply because they are our spouse. That is how we are wired. It is something we have no control over. Instead, the woman whose man comes last has to carry the shame of betting on the wrong horse. In effect, she will pick herself up and start again, opting for a more practical team like Manchester United to support than bet on yearly promise of Arsenal that simply never happens.

You see, love is fickle, it is a very delicate emotion that needs immense support. In the beginning, it is a strong emotion that is believed to possess the ability to conquer wild oceans and turbulent storms. However, older women will tell you love is primarily anchored by performance on the part of the man. Naturally, on the domestic front, we are seeking a man we can respect as a leader on all areas. When we fail to find the leadership in our man, we inadvertently start looking for it elsewhere. Leadership comes in many forms for a woman.

The man has to always be one step ahead of us but most importantly if we are on a four figure salary, he better be on six figures if he still wants to keep his place and respected as head of the family.

Women lose the feeling of love when they carry too much burden and cannot afford luxuries of life that they wish for. They actually do not lose the feeling; it simply gets numbed like a healed scar or gets redirected elsewhere.

The same way voters require solutions to the problems with roads, electricity and bursary funds, women require solutions from the man. We need a decent roof over our heads, a good car, healthy and consistent meals and school fee for our children. Over time as the responsibilities grow in size, loving the man is purely based on how well he is able to tackle the responsibilities on the plate.

Understandably, young girls cannot understand this concept. Because of their inexperience and naivety, they believe in the fallacy that love can conquer all situations. We sit back and ask for more popcorns as they prop forth their perky titties judging older women who may have made some decision considered unpopular.

But, we are unbothered because we know that when their time comes, they will all look back and say, ‘we were young and stupid’, to which we will laugh sheepishly, roll our eyes and order for champagne to wash down the bitter pill on their behalf.

I have seen a virtual profile titled ‘ask the older man’ on Instagram offering free advice to young men. The man has millions of followers and he tackles issues for young men with a level of brutality that has the ability to make the dead feel pain. He tells them your woman is only yours for the period you can demonstrate monetary leadership.

May be someone of the female gender emboldened by scars of experience should start a platform called ‘Ask the older woman’ for these young girls running on emotions and imagining that they would still be able to love a man after going three days on an empty belly.