Understanding the dark side of toxic relationships

Understanding the dark side of toxic relationships (Photo: iStock)

Love is meant to bring joy, support, and companionship, but in some tragic cases, it turns deadly, leading to violence, suicide, or murder. These extreme outcomes often stem from emotional distress, psychological factors, and societal influences.

Dr Beatrice Nderitu, a clinical psychologist, explains that unhealthy relationships can fuel emotional instability. “Obsessive attachment or over-dependence on a partner can distort self-worth,” she says.

This can result in inadequacy, jealousy, and anxiety, especially during conflicts or breakups.

Research highlights that individuals in toxic relationships often feel trapped, unable to escape emotional turmoil. This sense of helplessness can drive desperate actions, including harm to themselves or their partner.

Domestic abuse

A significant number of violent acts in relationships are rooted in domestic abuse.

Sociologist James Maina notes that abuse isn’t always physical—it can include emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and control, which are equally damaging.

In such cases, one partner may resort to violence, seeing it as the only way to regain control or force their partner to stay.

When both partners are abusive, conflicts can escalate to murder-suicide, leaving devastation in their wake.

Jealousy and Betrayal

Betrayal, especially through infidelity, is another trigger for deadly outcomes. Nderitu explains that highly possessive individuals may react to betrayal with rage and violent impulses, driven by damaged self-esteem.

This emotional clouding can lead to tragic decisions, including murder, particularly when recovery or reconciliation seems impossible.

Mental Health

Mental health struggles, such as untreated depression or personality disorders, also contribute to these tragedies.

“Some individuals see their relationship as their last source of meaning or purpose,” says Maina.

A breakup or betrayal can trigger an emotional collapse, leading to acts of despair like suicide—or even murder-suicide.

Early Intervention

Experts emphasize the importance of recognizing warning signs early.

“Addressing emotional distress, jealousy, or abuse through therapy, communication, and support can prevent tragedies,” advises Nderitu.

Society must also promote healthier relationships through emotional intelligence, mental health, and conflict resolution education. By fostering these skills, we can create a culture where love no longer turns into violence.