Lessons from Equatorial Guinea's 'modern-day Solomon'

Baltasar Ebang Engonga. (Courtesy)

This week, yet again, we are reminded of the importance of referrals. We have learnt yet again that a good CV can only take you so far, but in order to enhance your territory you will need a good word from other people who have worked above you or beneath you – quite literally.

You see, recently, and as always, Kenyans have found themselves united with the famous quote “Please niforwadie hiyo video?” being passed between friends and acquaintances. We also do not want to question the sudden influx of new entrants to Telegram. We would like to think that these are students joining universities that use the Telegram platform to disperse messages.

While most of us may wonder how it was possible for a single man to woo 400 women, entrepreneurs and business men will tell you this is not an insurmountable task. You see, apart from the ‘Goat wife’ who prefers to eat with her mouth closed, the rest of the eaters will be quick to share news of good working tools should they happen to come across one.

We have the answers

My guess is that, if he managed to produce 400 short clips, then there are 800 others that have remained unrecorded. I imagine there are moments when the phone went out of power, or when the urgency of the matter at hand did not allow one to record. Most of us may not believe in reincarnation, but I know a King Solomon when I see one.

He may not have come back as a king per say, but he has made sure he is related to the ‘king’ by playing cha mama and cha baba with the president’s sister! Where our biblical Solomon was only able to sire a paltry three children with 300 wives and 700 concubines, our contemporary Solomon has managed to have six with one woman and fire blanks with the other 399.

If ever we have wondered how Solomon was able to meet the needs of 1,000 women then the answers have fallen right on our laps. With the many advisors and assistants to help, Solomon obviously found a lot of time during the day and night to pay attention to each of his several women. Our Guinea Solomon created time between work, gym and walks to ensure his 400 women were happy.

The hero

It is our hope that Guinea will not treat their hero so harshly. If anything, we can now locate Guinea in the map and confidently claim that we know one man from Guinea. As Africans, our ancestors would also frown to learn that such a man has been jailed.

They would definitely have issues with the recording, or with the use of open air bedroom. But our ancestors specifically our Kamba and Luo ancestors would applaud this young man for trying so hard, and single handedly to propagate the clan. In Nyanza particularly, this man would have been fondly called Shemeji by both young and old.

The African woman is used to forgiving her errant husband every now and then. It is our hope that our brothers from Guinea will look away and not take this small misdemeanor seriously. After all, these women came home with dinner to cook – and a few skills to employ in the bedroom.