Impromptu '90s marriages that stood the test of time

A couple holding hands. (Courtesy)

The 80s and 90s was the era of impromptu or un prepared marriages, which apparently worked and survived to date.

It was a time devoid of luxurious, affluent and lavish dating, an innocent visit to a man’s house after a few dates was enough to be converted into a marriage without any regret.

Many are the women who went to the posho mill, the river to fetch water or the fields for firewood and never returned home, they got waylaid by their boyfriends on the way and in the course of being escorted, the men cunningly made a detour to their house.

This detour was a well schemed plan to marry the girl and even bag her water, firewood or unga and live happily ever after.

If girls’ parents realised that their daughter was not coming back after an errand, they knew their daughter had likely eloped with a man. They knew this, because often, they also got married the same way.

The girl’s parents would wait till the following morning to raise an alarm on the missing daughter. This would happen as the boy in question, informed his mother of a visitor in his house, the mother would then dispatch food and tea to the cube and cleverly look at the visitor before welcoming them .

The man would later be summoned to the kitchen to say what he wanted to do with the visitor. Emissaries would then be dispatched to the girl’s parents carrying sugar with other gifts to announce the new developments.

They would later ask for the girls clothes, which were packed neatly and given to them. Marriage life kicked off.

Obviously, the boy and girl were good lovers and it was just a matter of time before they got married and without the expensive dates seen today to prepare nuptials, the ‘crude’ way was the only option.

In my village,  Ndeiya South off Nakuru-Nairobi Highway in Limuru, paid ‘bandits’ were used to scare girls as they went home in the company of their boyfriends. The plan started when a girl visited a boy in his cube, and all manner of tactics would be used to make sure the girl leaves in the dark. Two or so friends of the boy would be hiding at a strategic corner armed with soft stones. When the couple approached, stones would rain on them and the boyfriend would suggest a retreat to his house to escape the ‘criminals’. Unbeknownst to the girl, the criminals herein were marriage facilitators who would keep the secret all their life.

There were no surprise proposals, no flashy wines and rings to prepare another round of courtship , there were no friends cheering friends of photographers.

The 80s and 90s was as crude as it was, an evening errand could be the last, an innocent Sunday afternoon visit would easily convert a girl into a wife forever. What surprises pundits is that these marriages have stood the test of time, they have endured all the adversities and are still strong.