Hats off to politicians' wives: The unsung heroes of the political circus

Governors' wives use their forum to campaign for their husbands. (Photo/James Omoro)

In most fairy tales, marrying a prince means you get to live in a castle, host grand banquets, and wear glittering crowns. In the modern world, marrying a politician is about as close as you get to that royal dream, except instead of castles, you get bugged houses and hotel rooms, and instead of banquets, you get the constant company of bodyguards who look like they haven’t smiled in years. Being a politician’s wife is no fairy tale. In fact, it might be one of the hardest jobs out there, and here is why.

You know how normal couples argue about what to have for dinner? Well, when you are married to a politician, those arguments are replaced with debates about whether to install more CCTV cameras, increase security at the house, or invest in a bulletproof car. The casual phone call you receive is not from your mother asking how you are doing but from someone warning, “Stay away from the rally on Friday if you still want your seat.”

For most people, threats come in the form of a passive-aggressive email from a coworker. For a politician’s wife, the threats involve masked men lurking outside your home and anonymous phone calls with heavy breathing. Romantic, right?

Your politician spouse is likely to be dragged into more lawsuits than you can count. If they are not being sued for corruption, someone’s accusing them of defamation, tax evasion, or something so convoluted even the lawyers need a flowchart to understand it.

You will find yourself defending your spouse in social gatherings like you are their unpaid attorney. “No, we didn’t embezzle funds from the county water project. Of course, our land title is legitimate...”

You have to be prepared for the fact that the public will take a keen interest in your financial status. People will want to know if that hotel you inherited from your late brother was a gift from a foreign donor looking for favours. The family vacation? Social media will light up with speculation that it was funded by “illicit deals.”

If you think family reunions are awkward now, just wait until your politician spouse is in the news for a scandal and your cousin posts a passive-aggressive comment about it on Facebook. Everything your family says, does, or posts on social media can turn into a headline. Suddenly, your cousin’s minor traffic violation is linked to your spouse’s “decade-long record of lawlessness”

As a politician’s wife, your entire extended family is pulled into the circus. Your in-laws might get random calls asking for their views on the latest scandal, and your children will face awkward questions in school about why their parent was shouting in Parliament last night.

Lastly, there’s the endless parade of public appearances. As a politician’s spouse, you have to master the art of smiling through gritted teeth, shaking hands with strangers, and pretending to be thrilled about every ribbon-cutting ceremony. Don’t forget to kiss and hug the babies—so many babies. Oh and sometimes emotions might overwhelm you and you might shed those tears in public.

You are expected to look perfectly put-together at every public function, even when you have been up all night dealing with a crisis (either personal or political). And God forbid you have a bad hair day! It will be plastered across tabloids with headlines like “Tired or Terrified? Mrs Politician looks worried as scandals mount.”

The real challenge is staying sane. At the end of the day, being married to a politician is not just about standing by your spouse’s side at victory speeches. It is about navigating death threats, lawsuits, wealth gossip, and family feuds—often all in one week. It’s about balancing public scrutiny with private sanity, and smiling even when you just want to disappear into a quiet life somewhere far away from politics.

So, hats off to you all the politicians’ wives out there. You are not just keeping your family together, you are keeping your cool in a world that’s anything but cool.