Fifty bob for a fake fiance: My hilarious encounters with Kenyan hustlers

Traders and hawkers at Gikomba Market continue with their daily normal business. [David Gichuru, Standard]

In their wild pursuit of the slippery legal tender, Kenyan hustlers can put one in a situation that would make sitcoms seem normal. The other weekend, I was walking into a social function somewhere, my well-tended kitambi leading the way. Fate, or perhaps divine comedy, had a lady strolling by my side. There was no prior agreement to march in like a blissfully married duo, just pure coincidence.

"Snap!" A young man immortalizes the moment with his camera, lens pointed our way. I ignored him, feigning mild annoyance and dug into pilau Njeri and that mandatory slice of melon they serve at functions in central Kenya. The incident vanished from memory until I was leaving, and Mr. Camera-Man reappeared, proudly brandishing a low-quality snapshot of me and the dashing mystery lady.