The key to bringing up well-rounded children

A family playing in tha park. (Courtesy/iStockphoto)

Sylvia Naitelel, 46, is a mother of six – five boys and a girl, aged between eight and twenty-two years. Her husband passed on when her last-born baby girl was two years old. She has brought up her children single-handedly.

Naitelel says two years after the death of her husband, she left her nursing job to take a full-time job parenting because she was concerned about the well-being of her children. 

“In those two years I had read tonnes of information on raising disciplined and successful children, but I did not find it helpful because in many instances the script of what I should do and not do did not align with the practical aspects,” she says.

She say many times she did not have time to follow-up. 

When she finally sacrificed to be an at-home mom, she took over full control of ensuring the well-being of her children. Now her house help would help her with the house chores as she navigated the journey of parenting.

“Of course, it wasn’t and it has never been an easy task, sometime the frustrations would get the better of me, and I would almost throw in the towel and go back to work, but the thought of raising undisciplined and irresponsible children would get the better of me,” says the former nurse. 

Raising successful children, she says, involves creating a nurturing, supportive, and positive environment that fosters emotional, social, and intellectual growth. 

Parents should let their children know they are loved and valued regardless of their behaviour and achievement.

“This unconditional love, I learnt builds a secure foundation for their emotional well-being,” says Naitelel. 

Consistency and stability

Miriam Mundasia, a child psychologist, says consistency and stability in a child’s environment will help them to feel secure. 

“Establishing routines for daily activities such as meals, bedtime, and playtime, gives the children a sense of predictability,” says Mundasia 

Naitelel says one of the breakthroughs to the success of bringing up her successful children (they are disciplined, excel in school, and have won accolades both in school, college, and community work), is by encouraging open communication. 

The mother of six, says she has over the years of parenting excelled in fostering open and honest dialogues, individually, and as a family. During these dialogues, she has nurtured the art of attentively listening to their feelings, validating their feelings, and encouraging them to express their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. 

“In the same breath, the children have learnt to pay attention when I raise issues or when I am not in agreement with their behaviour, especially now that some of them are young adults. This way we have formed a front of a united, happy, and successful family that I am proud of today,” she says. 

Another contributor to her success story with her children, she says, is the encouragement she vested in her children to be confident to raise their self-esteem.  “Promote positive self-esteem to help your children develop a positive self-image by acknowledging their efforts, celebrating their achievements, and providing constructive feedback,” advises Mundasia.

She says parents should encourage children to try new things and praise their progress to bring out the best in them. 

Understanding emotions

Another major contributor to bringing up successful children is helping them understand their emotions. When children are taught to express their feelings healthily, it helps them develop empathy through a discussion centred on how others might feel in different situations, says the expert. 

Mundasia says when children are encouraged to build strong social connections with friends, peers, family members, church, and other community youth groups, they get to learn many positive traits, among them the importance of kindness, sharing, and cooperation.

These elements, she says are a good foundation for their social behaviour in their interactions. 

Naitelel says she learnt that providing room and encouraging her children through providing opportunities for playtime and a platform to explore their talent has contributed to who they are today. 

“I learnt that play is essential for a child’s development and happiness, fostering imagination, problem-solving skills, and social interaction,” says the proud mother. 

Above all, says Mundasia, it is important for parents to encourage independence by allowing the children to make choices and to take on age-appropriate responsibilities. 

“By encouraging independence, the children learn to build their confidence, which gives them a sense of control over their own lives, accomplishing every parent’s wish of bringing up successful kids,” says the expert. 

Most importantly, she advises, that as you work hard to bring up successful children, you must also work on yourself to bring out the best of a successful parent.