Time has come for us ditch 'Kenya' and give our country a new name

Additionally, many societies in the world - even in the irreverent West where familial affinities are on a serious decline - still frown upon the temerity of uttering mother's maiden name explicitly (let alone asking her to change it!).

Exempted, of course, are instances when the name is spoken in the softest and most solicitous serenades composed in her praise, or else, in extraordinary circumstances such as the pain of death. This makes me extremely jittery as I submit that time is now time for 'Mother Kenya' to contemplate a name-change.

That notwithstanding, encouragement comes to me from other numerous entities which have found reason to change name over the years, particularly as a way of breaking up with their past after debacles and scandals (our athletics doping shenanigans probably qualify) or as a way of cementing epochal social-political renewals. From the corporate world, Meta formerly Facebook, is an excellent recent example, while the Soviet Union, Burma, and some countries right here in Africa such as Botswana, Congo and Benin, have also successfully rechristened.

When Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua in his inauguration speech described Kenya as a "dilapidated economy" almost "facing shutdown", and which needed to be "liberated", therein was an extremely uninspiring scorecard for a nation nearly 60 years into independence. As long as accountable governance and freedom from corruption remain only a moving target, a change of name will verily not magically liberate this country.

Painting of a Kenyan flag peeling from a wall. [iStockphoto]

Mathematicians have recently computed that, if appropriately positioned on the Scrabble board, the word OXYPHENBUTAZONE is the 'heaviest' possible letter combination, and would theoretically give the highest score!

My honest view is that 'Kenya' ranks right there among Haiti, Uganda, Tonga, Togo, Samoa, Peru and many others- as an example of short, bisyllabic names that do not evoke the same oomph when placed alongside United States of America, Kyrgyzstan, Great Britain, United Arab Emirates, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Qatar, Madagascar or even Tanzania.

In this day when corporate rebranding is serious business, such minutiae are best not ignored. In some quarters, it is actually believed that the choice of a name influences a nation's destiny.

Personally, I wouldn't wish to live in a country called Oxyphenbutazone. However, there is no shortage of beautiful and eponymous names to replace 'Kenya'. For me, The Eastern African Republic ranks right up there.

Finally, a decisive national name re-engineering should distance us from memories of past moments of national shame, such as the 2007 political imbroglio, which have so badly stained our flag and lowered our international reputation. Such a deft move could help boost our image abroad.