Bunge Chronicles: Petition to limit MPs' terms gets on their nerves

Parliament building in Nairobi. [Courtesy]

Dear Jonah Gachuki, whoever you may be.

I hope this letter finds you in better health than a mhesh who just gobbled up half of their CDF allocation, stashed most of the remainder into an offshore account and shared the rest amongst their kin.

By now, you have probably received a letter from the wahesh telling you what they think about your petition that seeks to exorcise Mugabe’s spirit from their bones.

Perhaps they told you, in “parliamentary language” of course, that they don’t find your attempt to limit their tenures to two terms amusing. Well, I’ll tell you what they really thought about your petition and let you decide what prefix best fits their names.

Majimbo Kalasinga said you were only interested in curtailing the rights of wananchi, who “have the right to elect us as many times as they want”. Kalasinga is the mhesh for Kabuchai. Elected in March, he has not served a complete term.

Endebess mhesh Robert Pukose suggested that you were joking with other people’s careers. He said your petition was misplaced and looking into it would be “a waste of resources and committee time”. Resources, Bwana Gachuki, mean your taxes – the same ones that ensure that the wahesh enjoy 10 meals every day, as a Mombasa woman boils stones to hoodwink her children to sleep.

Gitonga Murugara, the mhesh for Tharaka, found offence in your assertion that limiting the terms of presidents and governors and failing to do so with MPs was discriminatory. He argued that presidents and governors had term limits because they are CEOs. MPs, on the other hand, were “just there”, holding positions that weren’t defined. Perhaps Murugara’s remarks explain why wahesh abdicated their oversight role. Perhaps it isn’t defined enough as their job.

Wait till you hear what Nyaribari Chache MP Richard Tongi said. “Parliament is a training ground for bigger responsibilities,” said the mhesh.

Bwana Gachuki, let the wahesh be. This nation’s coffers have too many resources that need professional looters to empty. Let them get as much training from their CDF kitties.

Red-bereted Didmus Barasa made a case for why term limits should be scrapped. According to him, the limits had made second-term governors rogue, knowing that they have nothing to lose.

Kwanza MP Ferdinand Wanyonyo thought you were a busybody who had failed in all attempts to secure a parliamentary seat hence your apparent resolve to send your current mhesh to retirement.

Majority leader Amos Kimunya stated that you wouldn't go far in your endeavours. Dawood Abdul Rahim, the North Imenti mhesh, stood with you, urging his colleagues to give others space. Regards.