‘I still love him’: Court rejects woman’s attempt to save marriage, for a 2nd time

The court heard that the couple had been married for 25 years. [File, Standard]

A Machakos woman whose marriage was dissolved by a lower court lost an appeal in which she sought to salvage the union.

EMN’s husband, DNN, had successfully filed for divorce at the Kangundo Law Courts on May 14, 2019.

DNN cited adultery, desertion, denial of conjugal rights, cruelty and witchcraft as reasons for divorce application.

According to the applicant, his marriage to EMN had irretrievably broken down.

DNN, who had been married to EMN for 25 years, told the court his spouse was adulterous on numerous occasions since 2004.

In his words, EMN slept with different men; some known to him, and others not. According to the man, his wife’s paramours lived in different Nairobi estates including Kariobangi, Umoja and Embakasi.

DNN said EMN spent “almost all her weekends away from their matrimonial home”. According to him, his spouse would leave home on Friday or Saturday evening and return on Sunday or Monday morning without disclosing where she had been.

He also stated that EMN denied him conjugal rights on multiple occasions, and when they’d get intimate, they’d use protection because trust had been eroded. The safe sex, he said, began in 2004 until 2013.

On the occasions he’d be denied conjugal rights, DNN said EMN would place pillows on the bed to form a buffer. They’d also cover themselves in separate blankets.

In response to DNN’s application, EMN denied all the allegations levelled against her.

She said she had “heavily invested in the marriage, loved and adored DNN”, and was of the view that problems in the union had not reached a crisis level.

Kangundo Senior Resident Magistrate Martha Opanga ruled on December 5, 2019 that the marriage between DNN and EMN had “irretrievably broken down”. As a result, DNN’s divorce application was granted.

The magistrate said the proceedings in court were only for formality purposes, but not a process to weigh whether the union had a chance of survival.

Aggrieved by the magistrate court’s decision, EMN filed an appeal at the High Court in Machakos, claiming her husband did not prove the allegations he had levelled against her.

On July 5, 2021, Justice George Odunga upheld the lower’s court’s decision, however observing that the lower court did not find proof of the allegations levelled against EMN.

The judge, nonetheless, stated “it was clear the marriage ceased to blossom”.

“It’s clear from the evidence that the marriage between the petitioner and the respondent had long ceased to blossom, and the manner in which they related to each other was no longer rosy,” said Odunga.

“What appeared to be the smoke was a mere mirage. The love bug that had bitten them when they first met each other had lost its fangs as age took toll on the couple. What is however clear is that the marriage had been reduced to a mere shell with no flesh beneath it. No amount of resuscitation could save it,” the judge said in his verdict.

He further observed that the court was “merely called upon to perform the last rites on a union that was long dead”.