How to spot a serial dater

 I have friends and acquaintances who are serial daters. One in particular is so hooked to this duplicitous dating game. It is highly unlikely that she has ever been single for more than 72 hours. She always has a man in tow because she has different men constantly coming and going out of her life. The drill is usually the same. She meets a guy she is absolutely smitten with. She seems genuinely thrilled about her new-found love interest. A few days later, she walks out on him. Nine times out of 10, the reason she gives for dumping the guy is shallow and superficial. The next day you, find her snuggled up with a new guy whom she claims she is also crazy about. And the cycle goes on and on.

A serial dater is someone who is only interested in dating and has no genuine interest in getting involved in a serious romantic relationship. A serial dater's life revolves around the need for consistent circulation of new romantic potentials strolling casually in and out of their lives. They yearn for the constant change of company. Their enthusiasm for a new love interest is usually short-lived and they have an uncanny ability to walk out in and out of someone's life without giving it a second thought and pounce from one potential partner to another almost instantaneously.

Serial daters will go out with anyone who has the potential to hold them down until something better comes along. They are always looking for someone better. They need something new and if you are not giving them the thrill that they need, they will leave at the drop of a hat. Catch them dead without a few phone numbers handy to call when they are ready for their next thrill. The serial dater can fool you into thinking she was madly interested in you, but shock on you when you run into her hand-in-hand with another man, just hours after breaking up with you. They will leave you dumbfounded and sometimes heartbroken when you come to terms with the fact that you were an insignificant aspect in their lives, probably just the pick of the week.

The dating history of a person can tell you whether that person is a serial dater or not. Serial daters have a history of only brief relationships. The longest relationship they have ever been in is usually a couple of months. You can also tell if someone is a serial dater if he or she has never been single for more than a few weeks.

There are a number of reasons why people become serial daters. Some people opt for serial dating due to fear of commitment. Their constant inability to be committed to one person may be as a result of negative past experiences, so they fill their lives with temporary people who will fill the void of a long-term relationship without requiring them to put their feelings on the line. They prefer to have fun while keeping the relationship light without any emotional commitment.

Another cause of serial dating is that some people are afraid of being single. They hate the thought of being alone. They take pleasure in always having someone eagerly waiting to be at their beck and call. They take comfort in knowing that they always have people lined up to date them. They cannot be single because they don't know how to be. These kind of serial daters are insecure and have low self-esteem because they feel the need to constantly be in a relationship, and only get the much needed confidence boost from a significant other.

Other serial daters are just interested in money and material things. Most gold-diggers mask themselves as single most of the times so they can extort as many men as they can. They end up dating many men at a time because each of the men is bringing something to the table. If she happens to find another man who is richer and more generous with his wallet, she will not hesitate to drop the current man sustaining her.

 

The advent of dating apps and dating websites has created a super breed of serial daters. Now more than ever, the options are endless. However, even though having options is a great thing, jumping from one relationship to another is usually a recipe for disaster. We need to give people chances and get to know them on a deeper level. Do not make up your mind about a person after only one or two dates. You should also put the other person's feelings into consideration before embarking on serial dating. Have fun and enjoy yourself while dating, but do so responsibly.

 

@RoxanneKenya

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