Four ways to handle crying women

Remain unfazed even if she directs her anger at you                    Photo:Courtesy

There comes a time in a relationship when every man has to deal with one of the most dicey and awkward parts of a relationship: when his woman cries. This is perhaps a man’s worst nightmare. Most men, if not all, lack the knowledge on how to react in those delicate moments.

Women cry. A lot! It is their way of processing emotions and getting through tough situations. There are a lot of reasons why women turn on the waterworks. At worst, she is simply being manipulative and playing off of your emotions to get something from you.

It can be difficult to differentiate the sincere tears from the manipulative tears so when in doubt, always assume she is having a real emotional breakdown. There is actually very little you can do when she turns into a blabbering mess but there are a lot of things you are not supposed to do at that moment. I have highlighted a few below.

Don’t dare mention PMS

Sure, there is that time of the month when a woman is a lot more emotional than usual and she is more prone to breaking into tears over the most trivial things. However, do not ever dismiss her tears as hormonal even if you have a calendar and a box of tampons to prove it unless you want the wrath of hell unleashed on you. Pointing out that PMS is the cause of her feelings will lead to a fight. Even at that time of the month, she may be crying because of something completely valid.

And even if she is crying over something stupid, making fun of her and blowing off those tears as hormonal will not achieve anything (besides silent treatment and blue balls for at least a week). Instead of mocking her and disregarding her feelings, be there for her and show her some sympathy even if you think that whatever that has her bawling her eyes out is ridiculous. Maybe after it has all passed, even she will think it is hilarious that she was crying about not finding her favourite chocolate chip cookies at the supermarket then you can both laugh about it.

Don’t try to stop her from crying

We get it. When we start crying, it is awkward and uncomfortable for you and you just want it to stop. But we need to cry and telling us to stop or trying to make us stop crying isn’t really going to help. When a woman cries, she is releasing pent up frustrations and the best thing you can do is hear her out and support her. That is the only way she will be able to start to feel better. Making her stop crying will only delay the inevitable. When she cries, she is not looking for you to fix her situation. She only wants you to validate her feelings and support her through that fragile state.

Don’t go cold and do nothing about it

We understand that crying is a foreign concept to you and you don’t know what to do in a situation charged with emotion and tears but freezing up will only make us feel worse. You should be sympathetic and show her that you understand what she is going through.

Don’t panic and start blabbing out apologies or become emotional too.

Most men just panic and start to apologize profusely when a woman starts crying. Even if she is crying because of something that you have done or said, just remain calm and maintain your composure. Freaking out will do nothing to help the situation. Let her cry it out until she is ready to talk about it calmly. Remain unfazed even if she directs her frustrations and anger at you. If it becomes too much, remove yourself from the situation until she calms down.

@roxannekenya

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