Woman conceives, carries pregnancy to term and delivers all while in Nairobi traffic jam

A Kenyan woman has made history by forming a relationship while caught up in a Nairobi traffic jam, consummating it, conceiving, carrying the pregnancy to full term and then giving birth. She delivered a bouncing baby girl weighing three kilogrammes. The woman explained that after finding herself caught in a traffic gridlock, she decided to make good use of her time.

“I could have just sat there and whined like everyone else...” confessed the woman. “But I decided to make the best out of the situation... now I have a man and a baby. Thank you ministry of poor planning!” The traffic jam resulted after floods washed away a bridge.

By the time a tender could be put out, court injunctions and suits settled, bribes paid and a shoddy bridge at an inflated price put up, the woman had fallen in love, fallen pregnant and gone on to give birth.

The woman revealed it was a ‘lucky escape’ for her because she was on her way to visit her nagging relatives when the gridlock occurred. “I was dreading my aunties reminding me I’m growing old and I knew I would have no answer as to when am getting married... but by the time the jam cleared all my problems were gone,” said the woman.

The woman’s pregnancy, however, was anything but smooth. There was panic after the woman started experiencing labour pains and her new man was nowhere to be seen. Apparently he had already formed new drinking friends while still stuck in traffic and was watching a football match on a mobile phone with his buddies at the tail end of the jam when his woman went into labour.

Luckily, there were midwives stuck in traffic too. As bad as the gridlock was, attempts by Kenyans to have the traffic jam recognised as the longest in world history were turned down by officials from the Guinness Book of Records. The officials argued that by the time they travel by road to where it occurred, they will probably be caught up in another one that will last even longer.

Guinness book of records

“Where there’s a smoke there’s a fire... if we’ve had a woman conceive and give birth in a traffic jam, there must be another case of someone getting born, raised and dying of old age in a Kenyan traffic jam!” said the Guinness officials. Following the highly publicised incident, Kenyans are now calling on the government to ensure more government and social services are available along roads and highways since people are now spending a lot more time there than at their homes and places of work.

These include Huduma centres, prisons, courts of law, KRA offices, day care centres, contraceptive vending machines and pregnancy test clinics. Unconfirmed reports say that some people have even formed chamas, vigilante groups and even Bible study groups with people they have met in traffic! On her first hospital visit the overjoyed ‘traffic jam mother’ announced she will initiate a campaign to encourage Kenyans to take up economically useful activities while stuck in traffic.

“Do something even if it’s knitting, don’t just sit there!” she advised. Traffic police officers, NTSA and Kenha officials have however warned Kenyans against following the woman’s example. In a joint statement the three institutions said Kenyans should restrict illicit romps to offices, parking lots and night church services. They warned that if extended to roads and highways, such an early exposure to fuel fumes might result in children with a penchant for sniffing glue and petrol.