Village man tipped on how to use tea bag

By PHILIP ORWA

A primitive man in Kisumu nearly caused himself embarrassment at a breakfast table before his in-laws when he attempted to tear a tea bag, had it not been the timely intervention of his brother.

The man, only known as Onyango, had been invited to meet his brother’s fiancée and her sister. It turned out that Onyango had never been to a ‘serious’ hotel. When his brother — Mathias, ordered tea for them, the first thing Onyango did, in his rashness, was to pick the tea bag and attempted to tear it apart. Just when he was in the process of ripping it apart, his brother came to his rescue with a fake prayer.

yelled

Onyango had seen sister to Mathias’ fiancée tear a sugar sachet before emptying its content to her cup. Unfamiliar with the usage of a tea bag, he began struggling to tear it before his brother pretentiously yelled at him for attempting to mix ingredients and brewing tea before praying. “Eiiih wuod omera (my brother) let’s close our eyes and pray before anything,” he said. “Onyango gino ok ket kamano e chai, rit inee kaka aketo mara eka iketi, kik injawa wuod minwa asai (you are going to embarrass me my brother, the tea bag is soaked in the milk, please don’t tear it. Just wait and see how I will do. Do not embarrass me,” said his brother.

“Hotel madongogi ka ikia gimoro to asai kik irikni, itemo ing’iyo kaka ng’ato timo eka itimo kaka otimo iwinjo owadwa? Amen (when you visit such big hotels and you don’t know how to use something, please check with whoever you come with how things are done, you hear me? Amen.)” said his brother.

Glances

By the time Mathias said “amen” his village-bred brother had already understood him and now paying attention and keenly observing how Mathias went about brewing his tea.

Luckily for him, his sisters-in-law were from a different community and thus didn’t understand what Mathias had said in Luo.

They were, however, left wondering why the people on a table next to theirs were laughing their heads off while stealing glances at them.