Neighbourhood innerwear pervert finally nabbed

By MKALA MWAGHESHA

A middle-aged man in Kahawa Sukari has been given a two-week notice to vacate a residential storey building because of queer habits.

The man commonly referred to as Mheshimiwa (honourable) is known so for his weakness for suits and his love for politicians and famous people. But he has been reduced to mshukiwa (criminal) after it emerged that he has been doing nightly rounds on his neighbours and picking innerwear through open windows.

For months, neighbours had been complaining amongst themselves and to anyone who cared to listen about the disappearance of their precious piece of clothing from clothes lines.

“Each time you hang your laundry on the lines to dry, bras and panties go missing,” said a concerned stay-at-home mum. “We did not know what was happening. It was scary,” she added.

Efforts by the caretaker to try to nub the perpetrator proved fruitless as the items seemed to disappear at night, when he was asleep like the rest. After some time, he also gave up the quest, saying it was not in his job description.

Flaunting

 “I maintain security for the building, but watching over innerwear is not my work,” he said. “I thus advised them to hang them in their houses if they could.”

Mheshimiwa’s proverbial 40 days came to pass when a female neighbour paid him a visit to complain about the loud vernacular music he was playing. He had recently acquired a new music system and he was flaunting both its decibel levels and his music taste.

“He opened the door for me and asked me to enter, probably to show-off his new acquisition thinking it would impress me,” she reported.

“But he had forgotten that he had a hanging line in his room and he had clothes hanging on it, including a bra and two panties I had lost the previous week. I was shocked!” she added.

She raised hell and alerted neighbours of her discovery. What followed was wrath, with women threatening to burn the culprit and his belongings.

According to the caretaker, they found a box filled with innerwear, with each victim picking their privates from the lot. Mheshimiwa was declared a pervert, as he did not have any intentions to sell the clothes, but was collecting for his own personal fulfilment. He even had a nightdress — stolen of course.

Being the middle of the month, the caretaker convinced his angry neighbours to give Mheshimiwa up to end month to vacate the premises.