When men marry for ‘Ramadhan’

By Mkala Mwaghesha

An elderly woman caused embarrassment to her daughter and family when she refused to attend her daughter’s wedding last weekend.

The wedding, which took place in Majengo area, Mombasa County, was one of the many that were slotted on the weekend just before Ramadan commenced.

According to close sources, the woman said she was not prepared to lose her daughter to an alleged serial divorcee, who was has been marrying before every Ramadan since 2009, only to abandon his ‘wives’ immediately the Holy Month ended.

“This (the bride) is my youngest daughter and I’m not prepared to take her back in August,” she lamented. “I would rather she remains a spinster than marry that dog.”

Bride price

The groom, a wealthy fellow and well known in Mombasa’s social circles, had hastily arranged the wedding, having met the young woman a few weeks earlier. He had met the bride’s family for introductions and paid the full amount of the required bride price on the spot. This had raised suspicions, but since it is common for many men to marry before the Holy Month, it was accepted.

Opposition from the bride’s mother, who had dug around and discovered the groom’s checkered past, was fruitless as she was seen as a nosy impediment to a blissful matrimony for the two ‘lovebirds’.

“They did not want to listen to me because I’m a woman,” she said. “Wait until this man abandons my daughter then they’ll know I was right. Lakini harusi siendi (But I’m not going for that wedding).”

Her defiance did not stop the fanfare that was the celebration, with a live taarab band providing the music, and a well-known catering service providing sumptuous meals.

“How can a mother refuse the honours of attending her last daughter’s wedding?” a woman was heard saying.

“Anamkazia mwanawe tu! (She is just being mean to her daughter),” she added.

Even as the people who attended celebrated with the couple, her non-appearance was the talking point, overshadowing everything else.

According to the groom, he was not a serial divorcee but it was the women who made him leave them. He could not tolerate their bad habits and instead of sleeping around, he thought it best to end the unions, he explained.

“These Swahili women are hectic to live with,” he told the men he was sitting with. “They talk a lot, they are always arguing with the neighbours over trivial matters and always reveal bedroom matters to anyone who can listen. They do not respect privacy.

“This one is different, she is humble and can cook as well,” he said to gay laughter. “With time, mama will accept it all.”

Hastily arranged weddings and short-lived unions, according to a tuk-tuk operator in the coastal town, are very common.

Terminated

“These people marry before Ramadhan just to get cooks for the entire period. You wait and see, most of these unions will be terminated once the 30 days of fasting are over,” he joked.