Why connivance is a poisoned chalice

By John Gerezani

There is a new creed in the underworld — Kuelewana. That simply means that there are easier ways of getting other people’s money without using force. You might have been fooled by the recent statistics showing a marked reduction in robbery with violence cases, but as usual, it’s because they omitted the fine print.

2010 will undoubtedly go down in the annals of history in which the biggest volume of chwaa was lost to insider instigated thefts with the lead actors being the Gone-4-crew.

Kuelewana can be translated to mean "connivance to share the spoils" and it originated from neti.
Netizens had realised that instead of fighting with their minders all the time over marufuku, they ought to have drawn rules of engagement and suggested the quid-pro-quo, which would be mutually beneficial.

The rationale behind it all was that since marufuku was here to stay, why not make some hay? Secondly, neti bosses are wont to take all the credit whenever we make recoveries and so here is a copy of the memorandum of understanding we made and which applies to all netis.

What you guys don’t know is that there can never be a dichotomy between a netizen and a smarter for the simple fact that what binds us is our permanent interests and the will to survive in this unforgiving world.

Corruption in prison

It is kuelewana which has seen crazy prices being quoted for foodstuff supplied to our netis and schools.

It is only in Kenya where a bag of beans costing Sh3,000 in the market can be quoted and supplied at Sh8,500. PLO....tuko pamoja?

It is also kuelewana which has seen car hire companies lose their cars to organised crime as Kim’s case illustrates, only that he was unlucky to get sorted.

Criminals are known to get complacent when they stay on the run for long and even though mistakes are commonplace, Kim’s blunder was so egregious that it fell into the "you couldn’t make it up" category.

Kim and the driver of a car hire firm at the coast had made a near flawless deal of stage-managing theft of company vehicles and subsequently selling them up-country or across the border in Moshi and Arusha. On the eventful trip, Kim and two of his colleagues had met the driver as previously arranged and taken off to Nairobi.

Somewhere near Voi they had tied up the driver as planned and dumped him in a thicket.

The script was that there was to be an interlude of four hours before the driver would limp to a police station to report the theft, the assumption being that Kim and his team would have safely arrived at their destination by then. However, what is bound to go wrong always has an uncanny way of falling apart at unexpected moments.

premature celebrations

Excited at his expected windfall, the dereh had gotten into a premature celebratory mood and spent the penultimate night drinking.

Come morning, the chap was still groggy and had suffered a memory lapse. Instead of the agreed four hours, the brother had dashed to the nearest cop station and made a report the moment he had been dumped. A signal was immediately circulated giving a description of the suspected robbers and motor vehicle.

Within an hour, Kim and crew were flagged down by traffic cops for what they assumed would be the kawaida checks.

The short of it is that the brothers found themselves in court facing robbery with violence charges which led to their being sentenced to hang.

Talk of writing a death script and playing the lead role in the play. Therefore it is not everyday that kuelewana works.

Looking at the number of koros (watchmen) and mbochs serving time after having made deals with crooks to clean out your houses and parking lots only to be left high and dry by their accomplices. l can only sum it up thus: Work and earn your pay. Kuelewana is poisoned chalice.