Women, thou shall kneel before thy men

By Mang’oa Mosota

In a remote village of Katimba village in Uganda’s Ssembabule District, a middle-aged woman kneels for five full minutes. She hands a water basin to her husband, who meticulously, and in no apparent haste, washes his hands before sitting to a meal of matooke and groundnut sauce.

It’s only after the man starts eating that the woman rises.

Minutes later, we enter another compound and another woman squats.

She is intently gazing at me, and I soon realise why. I am the only man in the group, so the squatting gesture is for my eyes only.

Nakazibwe Aisha welcomes us to her house, vigorously shaking my hand as she does so.

Welcome to the Baganda culture of kneeling as a mark of respect and greeting.

Bewilderment

"You are like musomesa (teacher in Luganda) and I have to show you respect," the 45-year-old peasant farmer tells me as my Kenyan female acquaintance looks, bewildered.

Nakazibwe Aisha kneels before the writer in Katimba village in Ssembabule, Uganda, recently. [PHOTOS: MANG’OA MOSOTA/STANDARD]

Aisha’s five children kneel and stretch their hands in firm handshakes.

For the 20 minutes we call on the family, Aisha remains kneeling, and says apologetically that she has no meal to offer.

"In our community, elderly women kneel, squat or bend when they receive male visitors who are at least 20 years old," says Deborah Katasi, 38, adding that women in her community must kneel for their husbands, not bow or squat.

Highest Respect

Katasi says women in her Buganda community decide which degree of respect to convey to visitors. These range from kufukamira (kneeling), kotama (bowing) and sitama (squatting).

Katasi says women can kneel at home and public places but not in offices.

"The manner in which I kneel depends on the level of respect. For you, I have shown the highest respect," Nasuna Francis, 60, offered through a translator, shaking my hand while on her knees.

Ironically, Baganda men only kneel in reverence to God and the kingdom’s king.

The Baganda king Ronald Muwenda Mutebi II is largely ceremonial although he serves as the de facto leader of the community.

Charles Kasujja, who works for a non-governmental organisation in Mpigi District, clarifies women do not kneel for their sons.

Besides, women feel unloved or unappreciated if their husbands, uncles stop them from kneeling.

"If the ground where I meet one of my uncles is wet, he may ask me not to kneel. But I have to look for a fairly dry place nearby to show him respect by kneeling," Katasi adds.

Urbane Women

Ruthie Kintu, 32, says even urbane Baganda women maintain this form of greeting. A woman may be born and brought up in the West but when she returns to Uganda, she has to show men respect by kneeling," Kintu adds.

She says women from other Ugandan communities and foreigners also adopt this culture when they marry Baganda men. It’s hard to tell what shall become of this practice, but it’s harder to predict its decline, having survived this long.