Why I like hanging out at my local Nerkwo

By Tony Mochama

Everyone has, or should have, a ‘local’.

Local means ‘belonging to the neighbourhood’ so the full term should really be the ‘local bar’, but we Kenyans have this habit of dropping nouns and letting the surviving adjectives tell the story, so everybody knows what the ‘local’ is.

The ‘local’ is that estate pub where imbibing neighbours make good their promise to drink throughout the year, and for me, that place is none other than Nerkwo in South B.

Nerkwo joint, derived from a Kalenjin name for an indigenous tree of medicinal value, is on the opposite end of the road that leads into Hazina Court Estate. It is easily accessible both from the interiors of South B, as well as the slip road off the great Nairobi-Mombasa highway.

So, what makes Nerkwo qualify as a local?

Other than its location, this local has a small, gravel–coated parking area with large trees and a little car-wash thing going on, giving it that cushion of coziness that qualifies it as a local. Yet, unlike Nairobi West, one does not have to deal with hustling ‘parking boys’ to get that automobile water-glossed.

Not that it’s bad to support the ‘vagabond economy’. In fact, in these truly hard times, it is an honourable thing. One enters Nerkwo through a little pavilion of bougainvillea, and only then does one realise how large the place really is.

Paganistic

Straight in front of one is a small wall television and an area of chairs and peculiarly low rectangular tables whose design I find a little strange as one literally gets beers from one’s knees.

The right side area, with its mini-bar and higher tables and the common garden-variety plastic chairs (blue and white) is much better, but the area should be made dimmer.

Long, pipe-like fluorescent lighting reminds patrons of cloudy days in primary school, or a bad night at the Operation Theatre in hospital. Then, there are more intimate areas of padded benches and round tables for local friends as well as an ‘umbrella’ area with stone stools that feel somewhat ‘paganistic’ like Stonehenge.

Such lofty analogies are soon knocked off one’s head when you bump your cranium against the incorrigibly low brollies of the space. On a good night, this outdoor area is excellent. But on a cold and stormy evening…

You can crowd into an indoor, mini-hall of more tables, chairs, the ‘deejay’ (bar guy) and the main bar. This area is good for its proximity to the bar for, while the service in Nerkwo is very friendly, it is also at times a little slow.

Excellent Meat

The meat, though, is excellent and if you are a ‘nyama choma na pint’ kind of person, as are so many Kenyans, this is the ‘local’ you will love to go to. Of course there is a pool table with the usual cue-stick heads taking their queue.

Nerkwo allows mobile vendors into the premises to sell their wares and many a DVD, leather jacket, cap and car bit bought in the past year has been ‘local-ly’ sourced.

On a hard weekend like this coming one, ‘locals’ across the homeland are popular, although I only do Nerkwo on Monday evenings myself. Once personal economies improve, say at the start of February, the local chill-out is promptly abandoned for more prestigious places — which we may tell you about next week.