Nagin Pattni on love and rings

By Phares Mutembei

The ceremony is dazzling and guests hungrily absorb its details. Cheer fills the atmosphere as bride and groom prepare to start a new life.

The stylish decorations, sleek vehicles, pompous outfits and abundant food all make for a picture-perfect wedding. You could never ask for more!

But if renowned jeweller Mr Nagin Pattni, were present at this lavish ceremony, his eye and mind would probably be on one thing — the wedding rings. He holds nuptials in high esteem; and why not? He has sold engagement and wedding rings to countless couples for over 40 years.

Permanent mark

"A wedding is a big occasion for the couple. For the bride, it is a milestone and the ring slipping down her finger means everything. She may forget other aspects of the ceremony, but the ring is a constant reminder that there was a wedding," says Pattni, a specialist in real yellow gold and silver engagement and wedding rings.

He says: "The ring is far more important than the decoration, dress and food. While the cheerful voices, delicious food and the music ends after the ceremony, the ring outlasts them all. It has a unique permanency. Yet it is so much less costly than the gown or other prerequisite items."

People desire all the ingredients of a colourful wedding — finely embroidered garments, exquisite giant cakes, a trail of sleek cars, good food and drinks flowing. But the ring has more value than all these.

Says Pattni: "The ring gives one status and identity. On a woman’s finger, it shows that she belongs to somebody. Every woman wants respect everywhere she goes including on the streets, at social gatherings and at the work place. The ring wins her a lot of respect and without it, she feels exposed. Equally, it helps ward off unwanted attention from men and saves women the embarrassment of being wooed".

Pattni adds that the ring should not be confined to marriage. For a man in love, a piece of jewellery would be the magic wand. Women are fond of rings and they consider bands as symbols of love.

While it is all right to take her to dinner, buy her a dress or any other gift, nothing matches the power of a ring, because it is impossible to offer a ring casually. Unlike a dress, a ring is a mark; a sign that you belong to somebody. So if a man gives you a ring, he is serious.

Notes the jeweller: "A ring creates a connection, a bridge between a man and woman."

But does the quality matter?

"Authentic materials like pure gold or silver are best — an authentic gold ring can last up to 600 years, and is a perfect mirror for well-nurtured love. Gold never rusts and never fades. It causes no allergy and works well with girls!" he quips.

Pattni also says that every woman deserves a ring. "It is good to point out that where polygamy is accepted, there is nothing wrong with buying two rings," he says, adding that he has, severally in his practice, sold more than one ring to one man.

Hand-me-down

He says the ring is a highly symbolic item and should not be passed down the family. Whereas in the West it is common for a grandmother to hand down various jewellery items, including rings, to their grandchildren, Pattni says: "It is a treasured item, a souvenir, and only belongs to the one special person."

In the same vein he says, "When you decide to renew the wedding, it is good to buy another ring."

As for the many come-we-stay couples with children who shelve wedding due to costs, Pattni advises thus: "The wife still wants to show she belongs to somebody. An engagement ring would suffice as it will give her identity".

He adds that whereas men are obliged to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage from her parents, they do not need anyone’s permission to put an engagement around the finger. Men, he says, should not just be content keeping girlfriends and women, yet never marking their territory. Even if not formalised, the relationship can be lent a ‘serious’ look with an engagement ring.